My relationship is shaky at the moment cos my bf keeps misbehaving and is sometimes cold and distant but then he swears he loves me, he changes like a chameleon. I've tried talking things out to no avail, we just end up fighting and making things worse and then he blames me for not wanting peace to reign, so I've decided to give him space to sort himself out. At first I thought about ending the relationship cos I'm just about fed up with his nonesense, but I decided to try giving him space if that doesn't work then we can go our separate ways. Precisely how much space should you give someone though? I'm not telling him I'm giving him space I will just disappear maybe for a week or two.

I and my boyfriend met through social media, we're both mature adults and the first thing he told me was I was exactly his type and he was interested in marrying me which made sense to me because I also wanted to get married and I let him know right away that I wasn't interested in playing any games. So we both clearly stated our intentions right from day one, I don't know how but I fell in love and everything was going smoothly until it wasn't anymore. Fast forward to 5 months into the relationship and it has become one sided, he's always super busy and never has time to see me but I kept playing the patient and understanding girlfriend and brushed it off, I finally decided to express how his actions hurt me but he showed no regard for my feelings whatsoever and never apologized, he just left me on READ. I realized i'm only deceiving myself and now I want to move on from him but it's not easy so I made a list of all his red flags that I've been ignoring: 1.Doesn’t call you🚩 2.Doesn’t acknowledge your feelings🚩 3.Doesn’t show you he cares🚩 4.Doesn’t do anything for you🚩 5.Has never given you anything🚩 6.Doesn’t communicate🚩 7.Doesn’t care how you are🚩 8.Leaves you on read🚩 9.Doesn’t make any effort to make the relationship work🚩 10.Keeps canceling plans🚩 11.Sexualizes you🚩 12.Tries to touch you even after you expressed discomfort🚩 13.Makes promises he doesn’t keep🚩 14.Says he will call you back but never does🚩 No man that loves me will treat me this way and especially seeing how patient I've been with him. I'm hoping spelling out his flaws will help me move on and forget him quicker.

All my life ever since I was a kid I've only had one dream which is to get married the Islamic way and settle and have a family. But Allah cikin ikonsa bai sa hakan ya faru ba, har na kai 29yrs a duniya. I never seem to meet the right person, ni mai kamun kai ce da nutsuwa kuma bana shigar banza but I always fall into the wrong hands time and time again, no one is ever serious about marrying me sai de su bata mun lokaci ko suyi kokarin lalata da ni which bana yarda, duk haka relationships dina suke ending. Na gaji, nayi kukan, nayi adduar amma still. Recently na hadu da wani da farko kamar mutumin kirki tunda ya taba aure sun rabu da matar har da yaransu 4, ya zo min da maganar aure everything was going fine amma along the way sai ya fara min maganar banza ni kuma na nuna mishi bana so sai ya dena. I thought abu ya wuce muka cigaba da ganin juna har muka fara sabawa sosai kawai sai ya fara kokarin taba ni, akan haka har mukayi fada sosai nace Kar ya sake min haka yace bazai sake ba amma yana so na but tun lokacin the relationship hasn't been the same in fact bai ma sake zuwa wajena ba kuma muka rage yin magana kullum he's busy. I've been trying to convince myself the relationship will work amma nagane hauka na kawai nakeyi ni kadai ba aure na zai yi ba dama iskanci yake so kuma ya ga bazai samu ba shiyesa yake ta ja da baya. Amma duk da nasan hakan my heart is pained because I was hoping I had finally met my husband ashe ba haka bane, but I don't even know how to move on now I'm so broken. Don Allah ku saka ni a addua Allah Ya bani mai sona da gaske, kuma ku bani shawara ya zanyi na cire abun a rai na. Nagode

I met this girl and honestly i like her but so many guys are on her matter. The first day we met, she was expecting a guy as well who will bring her food. Told me that it's her cousin's friend. I shrugged it off. I met her when she was broken and i felt it's my job to fix her. She has a shape that makes her an instant attraction to guys, little wonder that she falls into bad hands. Now I'm into this relationship not just as her boyfriend but i see myself as her older brother. I feel the need to guide her on the choices she makes in life. Last two weeks they went for a wedding, this girl was outside till 11pm, told me her cousin's friend was eyeing her although she told him she has someone but he still persisted. Took her with her sister into his car and they went out to eat. I didn't complain. Yesterday she told me she'll be heading to school and she'll be going along with a guy. Why will you be going to school with a guy? That it's her course mate and they'll be doing the registration together since he knows someone. I said okay. Now she's telling me she'll be heading somewhere else before she goes to tomorrow that one of her lecturer abi what told her that he wants her to come, he wants to see her "to discuss something". What is there to discuss that you can't on the phone that you have to go and meet him? I feel this is the last straw for me. As much as I want to be the one to save her i have realized that you can't save everyone, sometimes you need to let people walk into their destruction and hope they learn something out of it. Is there any way to salvage this relationship?

So hey I think wait no I know I am lonely it's sad but true life has been hard so I never thought of a relationship 💔 but I want one now but there's no one in my town I want to date there not caring 😶 there boring they really are 😭 but ya I want a boyfriend that's loving caring and gives attention when he can! is that much ? someone who would be broken if he lost me 😊 and I am not getting any matches on the app so is the problem me ?

gist me about your day are you lonely or enjoying yourself

Assalamu Alaikum I recently registered for a matchmaking and wants to upload my picture but I'm afraid of it appearing on the Instagram page. Y'all knew how people tend to be these days, ones a lady signed for a matchmaking boom she's out of options ko kuma doesn't have suitors which in many cases isn't the fact. So I just needs clarifications please, how does it works, the display picture? Thank you.

Dear Arewa up community I hope this message finds you well. Approximately three years ago, my relationship with my ex-girlfriend ended due to her involvement with another individual. At the time, she openly expressed her feelings for this person, leading to our separation. Since then, we have had no communication. Recently, I reached out to her via WhatsApp to greet her. Following our initial exchange, she began expressing remorse and requested reconciliation. She is seeking forgiveness and hopes we can rekindle our relationship. I initiated the contact, and while I still have deep feelings for her, I am uncertain about the appropriate course of action. I find myself reflecting on our past and contemplating the possibility of giving our relationship another chance. I am seeking advice on the following: Should I consider reconciling with her? What questions should I ask to understand her past actions and current intentions better? How can I ensure that any decision I make is in my best interest emotionally and mentally? Your insights and guidance would be greatly appreciated as I navigate this complex situation. Thank you for taking the time to read my message.

You called him at midnight, voice trembling like leaves in harmattan winds. He didn’t pick. He never does. You kept his hoodie—still smells like December. Screenshots of “I love you” hide in your phone like ghosts waiting to haunt you at 2 a.m. You play your song on repeat, forgetting he already changed the station. His wedding photos now bloom on your timeline like thorns. Girl, you stitched a shrine from old texts and prayed for a resurrection of love long buried. But hear me— Delete it. The pictures. the call logs the phone number The chats the text messages the notes, The playlist. The memories wrapped in cotton-soft lies. let go, be free He’s gone. You stayed. And it’s time you leave too. Not because it didn’t matter, but because you do.

I pray every day for Allah SWA to grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference. This Ramadan alhamdulillah I made a conscious decision to delete any means of contact 😞 yay me💃💃💃, I accepted I love this person, he doesn't share my feelings and that's ok! Focusing on the things I can change;I started exploring new things, new friends, getting out more and expanding my horizon, discovering myself,giving other things a chance, improving my health, doing what makes me happy. Making myself busy. On the relationship front I am taking a pause, I pray sometime in the future to have someone I love who loves me as much or even more. I know where I am at now emotionally I may not be able to fall in love, and am ok with it, fam any advice?

I want this person to have the life that he wants, even if that doesn't include me I want to help him get there. I do not love this person because of looks, resources, status,title or intellect! I am in love without reason. And yes! I am still 💯 head over hills and in love with him, he is my "SUNSHINE", I love him without reason, if u ask me y do u love this individual I will tell you I don't know! And that's the challenge because if I have a reason I can decide that reason is not good enough 😕 and yes I dreamed about him every night, he is still the 1st and last thing on my mind and yes I know I have given him so much power over me, believe me I wish there is something I can do. Have u ever been so much in love so much so that being with that person makes you think possibilities are endless, with that person u can grow wings and fly? This love made all my senses open, my mind felt free for the 1st time! I know I had to let him go for my sake!

When I started sensing the confusion in this person I love, I asked him to be honest with me about his feelings and he said " I am confused" I don't know what to do " I was heartbroken I wanted to do anything to take away his confusion! I asked what's going on? He replied "when I met u, I was in a serious relationship we lost touch and now we started talking, it's complicated 😭. I was speechless and my heart shattered into millions of pieces, tears started rolling on my cheeks controllably. I said but I asked u if there is someone else because I don't want to step on anyone's toes, and u assured me there wasn't, I couldn't hold myself,I was ashamed of myself. He started apologizing, I then asked y didn't you say anything ? We are friends 1st! All he could do or say was he was sorry! I gathered myself to ask what was the issue between them, I might be able to help(it's part of what I do professionally). at the end he rejected Even my friendship, with all the heartbreak I sincerely want him to be happy, love is indeed dumb.

You cannot help who you love, believe me I know! It was suggested that I should know what I want in a partner, thats begs the question! does real love allows u to see or have choice? I fall in love with this person without knowing why, this love is unconditional, it knows no bound, I love him with all his baggage, the good the bad the ugly, I have prayed every day for the past 2years, he's still the only one I love, I made peace and accepted my faith! I know all kinds of love there is in this world, parents,siblings, husband, children etc, I genuinely love this person I have no control over what am feeling! I want him to be happy even though it's not in my favour, my love for him is selfless this is a fact. Being in love, the feeling is new for me! How can someone love this individual that does not reciprocate? With little to no reason! This kind of selfless committed love and affection is rear... it's sad 😢

I am far from home a female student that's lost I don't know anymore I lost 4 important people in my life there just no more then the man I love so dear breaks my heart after losing my brother that takes care of me I don't have even a friend Oo Allah help me. I have school to go back too I have much to do not only is school fees on me but food and rent I don't know where to go or start Yes I know I should pray that's Allah I have been doing and I know Allah hears my cry's 💔 I wish I could die

Aslm My friend i have a deffresstion ciwon damuwa i am 22 year Ban taba sanin dadin rayuwa ba tunda natasu Na hadu da qadarorin rayuwa daban daban Idan kafadawa wani matsalan ka tu zaka dan ji sanyi ka rage jin radadi

First of all, salam alaikum everyone, and good night. I hope you’re all doing well. I want to share a story about heartbreak, and I would really appreciate your thoughts. If you feel that I did something wrong, or that I didn’t try hard enough, please let me know. We’ve already made a decision about this, and we don’t want to go back to the same situation or relationship, because it may just end in pain again. So, here’s my story: I had a best friend. We talked a lot, we vibed together all the time—she understood me, and I understood her. We were close like that for almost two years. Then one day, we started developing feelings for each other. She was the one who proposed that we start dating, and I accepted. The truth is, I had always been avoiding a romantic relationship with her because she’s older than me. She’s around 31, and I’m 27. Culturally, my family wouldn’t accept me marrying someone older than me, and I knew that. So I tried to stay away from anything romantic, even though I loved her too. But when she finally proposed, I accepted—because I loved her. I explained to her that even though I loved her deeply, I wouldn’t be able to marry her because of cultural and family reasons. She was devastated and disappointed. Eventually, she decided that we should separate and stop talking to each other. That decision was incredibly hard for me to accept. For a while—about three to five days—we didn’t talk. But after that, we started talking again, just as friends. Still, she said it would be painful for her if either of us decided to move on and be with someone else. So, she insisted again that the best thing for us is to distance ourselves completely. But for me, I want her to accept that even though we can’t marry, we can still be friends—because even her family has accepted me. I’ve built a relationship with them, independent of her. Even now, if we stop talking, I don’t think my relationship with her brothers or family will end. That’s one reason I don’t want to stop talking to her. But she insists we should stop. She said if I have anything to do with her family, that’s okay—but she and I should be over. So, after everything I’ve said, here’s my question: Should I have tried harder to convince my family to accept her, or was walking away the right decision? Thank you for listening.

A similar experience happened to me. A girl first proposed her love to me, and I accepted. We continued, and it was amazing at first. We spent two incredible years in extreme love and caring for each other, probably the best two years of my life. We couldn't pass a day without talking to each other, planning our lives, including the number of kids we wanted to have, and other important things that you couldn't imagine. Our love was amazing, and everyone around us knew we were together. However, all of a sudden, her behavior towards me started changing. She began ignoring me, snubbing me, and displaying a lot of strange attitudes. I tried talking to her, asking if there was an issue that we could resolve together, but she said no. The night we were chatting, she dropped a bombshell: she had found someone better than me and loved him. I tried begging her not to leave me, but it was all in vain. That night was devastating. I couldn't sleep, and for a month, I couldn't eat properly. I continued praying and asking others to pray for me. It's been three years since we broke up, and I still can't stop loving her. Despite the pain, I'm still single, searching for someone who can fill the void in my heart. Being single can be a profoundly lonely experience, especially when it feels like the world around you is moving forward while you're stuck in place. I've tried countless times to find love, to connect with someone on a deep and meaningful level. There have been so many attempts, so many false starts, and so many disappointments. Each failed relationship, each unrequited crush, and each fleeting romance has left me feeling more isolated, more alone. The city is full of people, yet I feel like I'm walking through a crowded room, invisible and unseen. I've tried online dating, social events, and even asking friends to set me up, but nothing seems to stick. It's as if I'm stuck in a never-ending cycle of loneliness, with no escape in sight. Despite all this, I still hold onto hope. I hope that someday, I'll find someone who sees me, who truly understands me, and who loves me for who I am. I hope that someday, I'll experience the joy of being in a loving relationship, of waking up next to someone who cares for me deeply. Until then, I'll continue to hold onto this hope, this dream of finding true love. I'll keep putting myself out there, keep taking risks, and keep believing that someday, I'll find the love and connection I'm searching for. it's been lonely since that break I'm not the same since that day imagine 3 good years and I can't still get her off my heart

I decided let me ask what's happening, if something is wrong so that we can fix it! I explained what I was feeling his vibe towards me , like am forcing things, is there someone new or old? am his friend he can talk to me, I will understand and accept whatever it is our friendship is important for me! hmmm he just flared up he felt I am going to break his heart is better we stop seeing each other 😭😭, and just went offline for a week, texted call no response and that is the beginning of the end, this is 2years now, am still in love with him, I have been to therapy, I prayed, almost started drugs to numb my feelings (gradually it's becoming easier Kun San irin rubutun Nan da ake wa babies Idan zaa yaye su! shi akayi ta Yi min) I was becoming suicidal. unstable, since he gaslight me and ghosted me I have only talked to him on his birthday mostly chat, I realized I cannot force him to love me or even be friends with me no matter how I tried, he claimed he reconciled with his ex, that's y he couldn't be friends with me. I continue to pray with time am getting better though still so much in love with him, the worst part, I can't be in relationship with another person 💔 believe me this kind of love with the right person is the best thing that could happen to u, what are u r experiences with 💕

🤔 God tested me, my faith, my sanity and my very being, from besties, we started falling in love at least on my part, I asked him what's our relationship for u, because I cannot explain, I want to know if this is just a fling for u, atleast let me know how to manage my feelings towards you, he assured me his feelings are real, I got to comfortable falling deeper for him, my heart race without talking to him, if u know the description of the sahaba on the feeling of their affection towards the prophet, imagine that kind of affection towards a fellow human being! I was crazed even I don't know how to explain, I am in too deep, out of no where I can feel him pulling away...., he stop responding to me like he use to I felt he was just managing me, abinda ake cewa Kora da hali😭😭😭, when he calls I will be the one trying to make a conversation, I can sense I was being managed, like he was looking for a reason to end things, my emotions all over, I was all over the place, running crazy in my mind this is my first love, probably the only love I will have in my life, I decided today let me keep my phone try not waiting for his call, I usually have my WhatsApp on my office laptop so when it's on it will show am online, hmmm that's the day world turn upside down .....

in February 2023, I was taking a walk when suddenly a car parked near me, like play he asked my number, and I gave him correct digit, which I never did b4 then,I have this strange feeling because I don't talk to strangers on the street especially in a car😅😅😅. like joke we started talking, became friends we talked all day and nights even when ever we are free, I don't have a lot of friends, only 2 one is deceased, he became my best friend, we talked about everything, Idan na samu guri I can be fun to talk to, I am free spirited, am a crazy wild individual that is if I accepted someone am that kind of friend you will call and tell you killed someone my 1st natural response will be how to cover for you, when I love someone I can sacrifice my own happiness to make sure they get theirs! we all have that one person that u think of calling to gist when ever something happens in your life or day, abokin gulma abokin shawara, the 1st person u think and talk to 1st when u wake up and last b4 u go to sleep. we became that to each other... we told each other about our past, relationship, life etc... something stuck with me about how he ghosted his ex girlfriend it was very concerning to me, but he managed to explain y, which I seasoned with him, forgetting about that saying " when someone shows u who they are believe them" wait for it 🤔