assalamu alaikum brothers and sisters in Islam I'm so pissed off I read a recent post that states that arewa women don't know how to be good in bed pls what manner of disrespect is that? and the person saying this was an arewa man in a world full of biased people and disunity you should love and support your women we the arewa women where born and brought up in absolute modesty we where thought to dress modest and keep close until our wedding night which is why most of us are shy pies but that doesn't hide the fact that one day we will get married and definitely open our legs for another man and nobody is running away from that if only they know how bad we learn about sex education they won't say that trash I personally met an older woman who said idan de har kinyi aure ki zama karuwa(ashawo) a gidan mijin ki it was all good and funny but don't shame arewa women you can go ahead and marry other people we don't mind but pls let us be. but note if we get married we are opened to learning new things this might not apply to every woman but mata ba wuya an sha kan su and to tell you that if you stay virgin you have won everything in life you have won your husband you have won respect from people you have won as a woman and the society as a whole don't let a man deceive you to do zina in the name trend or prove a point stay modesty sister idan maza sukayi ado ne a wajen su( wannan kuma su da Allah) but you as a lady it will destroy your life and future.

Assalamu Alaikum, Hope this finds you well. I need sincere advice and especially a third person's perspective to understand the predicament I'm in at the moment. Its regarding my dad. I am Male, a university student. I used to admire and respect my dad growing up wanting to be like him. He's not working in the same city we lived so sai public holidays yawanci muke ganin shi before retirement. Yanxu ya dawo da zama gida. I'm the eldest of my siblings so responsibilities fall on me and I'm also studying a good course in uni alhamdulillah. When I make mistakes, my dad shames me, calls me selfish, ba irin halin da ba a cewa banda shi. it used to bother me and I try always to improve. but there always seems to be a problem....its really hard to impress him. And I dont mind being corrected, its the constant downgrading and insult that pains me. Har ta kai ta kawo sai a hadan tarko dan nayi ba daidai ba ai ta fada. ko a ki mun magana na satuttuka. Ni kuma seeing he's my father I always try to figure out what I've done wrong, apologise sometimes even with tears. wani lokacin idan naje apology sai yanuna kamar bai San mai ya faru ba. He likes to put us including my siblings and mum in a situation he can control. ko gani yayi ka cika murmushi to ka sani ka kusa laifi. He also tries to create rifts between us siblings. I will discuss one thing with him but he will say another thing when he complains about our character. If someone outside admires our character, he'll be very quick to condemn us. It reached to a point ko muryar sa naji gabana faduwa yake. His relationship with my mum too is not ideal, haka itama ko yaushe fargaba take kar yace an mai laifi. hes isolated her from family, controls her finances and always shames her every chance he gets. da duk ban ganin haka because she tries to shield us from it but yanxu growing up I'm noticing and now my admiration for him is gone. I still love him and pray for him and always wished our relationship wasnt like this, financially he tries and provides more than enough but he also doesnt want us to be financially independent. He always frowns at my mums attempts at businesses, i hide my scholarships from him, because it would create rift between us if he knows i have a secondary source of income he cant control. The rapport i had with him when I was young I'm now discovering was just him using me to know what happens at home when he used to work. he will say things that made me doubt my mothers integrity and sense of responsibility growing up. There are details I can't say to keep this anonymous but wallahi my mum has being very patient with him. I'm now depressed with stress and anxiety both from home and school. I have a constant fear of marriage and parenthood because I dont want my wife or kids to feel this way if I ended up like him. I now avoid him except when he needs me or when I greet him and that too is becoming a problem.... I don't know what to do? Ban son shiga hakkin sa wlh coz kar na janyo fushin Allah but hes not someone you can have a conversation with and be open, everything you say can be used against you. Limiting interactions with him right now is the only way I keep my sanity. am I overreacting????

Evening guys.... please I need an advice on this..... will be 33 this month and I don't even have a boyfriend let more of a fiance. so my dad decides to pair me up with a cousin of mine.We don't even know each other but I have heard lot about him from my elder sister.... he do call time to time and after the first three meetings he stopped calling and even if I called him he won't pick and won't call me back. have been worried gaskiya Dan I have started thinking ko banyi mai bane or maybe something is wrong with me. we even met at a family gathering and he didn't utter a word to me. he followed us to the car when we were about leaving he chatting with my elder sister and younger ones it's just as if am invincible.... don't know what to do. should I let my family know about it? cuz they really want it to work.

May Allah make it easy for us all

Assalam. I am someone who loves lovemaking in a stylis way. I love deep cuddling, romance and extreme intimacy. I love to enjoy diffrent sex styles/position with my wife. Unfortunately this girl doesn't learn. It is sad that I watch a lot of porn videos I have been exposed to so many sex styles. Because of these things, I made a decision that I will not marry a Hausa girl because I know our Hausa girls are not that romantic and they pretend to be shy atimes. I married this Igbira girl I met at ABU during my undergraduate studies. This girl unfortunately is not diffrent from what I run for in Hausa girls. Even simple doggy style, this girl will not bend for me she will be "No I don't want do that" she will just lie on bed looking up to ceiling and open her legs for me to drill. This is only position she allows me do. I am already bored of this as I feel as if I am making love wth a dead body. I tried to engage her in a cowgirl, wheelbarrow, reverse cowgirl, snowgirl e.t.c but this girl doesn't cooperate. Food she no de cook. She goes to school to teach both in afternoon and evening. From my part, I try to do everything within my pwer to make this girl happy. I even renovated her parents house in Okene and her sister who attends BUK in Kano lives in our house, I give her transport money and atimes even pocket money. My question is, do I have right to force this girl to make love with her the way I want, the style I want, or she is the own with sole right to decide how I sleep with her? Please advise me on what I should do about this. My wife is 27 years and I am 34. It is been 3 yrs since we married. We have 1 daughter.

"Salam, please I need advice. I met this married man 3 months ago - a kind and gentle man - and we both fell in love. He's someone I can describe as perfect husband material. However, his marriage is just 3 years old, and he said he can't get married now and he is asking me to wait for him for 3-4 years before we can get married. I'm in a dilemma because I don't want to lose such a good person, but l also can't wait that long because I'm already 25 years old and feel the pressure of time."

I'm yoruba girl wish i love to marry responsible hausa man ...please i need ur advice

It's important to have a clear picture of the type of person you wish to spend the rest of your life with but at the same time i feel social media has created unrealistic expectations with regards to that. Why? 1. It creates unrealistic expectation when you Constantly Seeing "Perfect couples" Online Makes You compare your Marriage or partner to be To Stages Moments, most people want a romantic partner but you have to realize that your partner Is a Human not a content creator. 2. It Amplifies small Problems A Minor Disagreement suddenly feels Huge when You Read Posts About " Red flags" Or "Deal Breakers. When you ask questions on social media, majority will ask you to leave and only few will try to view it from a neutral lens and give you solutions for it tk work out. Not Every Issue Is Toxic, it Could Be Just Normal Relationship Struggle. 3. It Distracts you from gratitude and you start noticing what your partner lacks instead of appreciating the good things they have. Don't settle is a phrase the whites created to betray people. There are no 10/10 out there. 4. 4.It Feeds Dissactifaction.. The Perfect Vacation, Perfect Gifts, perfect body and Perfect Gestures Online Can Make Your partners Efforts seem Small. 5. . It Makes You Emotionally Check Out Scrolling Becomes Easier Than Talking, Comparing Becomes Easier than understanding. You don't sit to talk about things as two adults. You'll rather run to social media to seek validation. Everyone will love to have a loving partner but when social media starts to define your expectations it becomes dangerous.

Assalamualaikum barkan ku da warhaka, to ni dai gaskia na rasa ya zanyi ina neman wacce zan aura amma daga zarar naje ni sai nace am serious ga abunda ya kawo ni, kawae daga nan sai naga sunyi loosing interest an fara hi hi ni kuma sai naga cigaba da tafiya ta.

you know it's all kind of confusing me yanda ake putting dinshi in our local language, "mallam zai duba miki ko akwai haske" and if mallam says babu haske, I'm expected to just leave the relationship in one way or the other. I feel like I'm putting faith in the mallam instead of Allah. The thing is I've being doing it on my own about this particular guy for more than 4 years, almost every single time I pray, but I'm just still confused about the outcome because things are just so unclear, one day we are doing well and the next day otherwise. Sometimes I feel like I'm the problem, I'm being impatient and too demanding (because even though I'm really patient, I'm also hot tempered), but when I look at it I really believe I'm giving it my best and only asking for what is right, I can't just settle for the least. Since he came home and they've started talking about the wedding, it has being really really unimaginablely difficult, I cried half of the nights before I became immune to the changes in his behaviour, sometimes I feel like it's a NO answer from my istikhara while sometimes I remember that shaidan wants to destroy anything good we do, a typical example is marriage. and I can also remember hearing how people hardly made it at that point, so I always consider being patient and trusting the process, though I'm really exhausted, we dated for 6 years plus, there's a lot of ups and downs. So I told my sister everything and asked for her advice, then she suggested one mallam that did istikhara for her sometime that we should try him, she still managed to have his contact so she called him and gave him our names, now mallam yace akwai alkhairi sosai but it's one girl that loves him and wants to separate us that's why things are being complicated, I don't really believe him but I'm more confused 😭

Sometimes I sit with myself and think: maybe I’m the problem. Maybe I want too much. Maybe love is not meant for me in this life. But deep down, I know I’m not asking for too much , I’m just asking for the right thing. For something genuine. For someone who sees the good heart I carry and says, “That’s the one.” After losing my fiancé ,someone I was with for six whole years — it hasn’t been easy. Trying again, starting over, and hoping again… it’s been draining. And every time I think I’ve found someone serious, it turns into disappointment. A new kind of silence. A different way of being left behind. And then the pressure comes from home. My parents look at me like I’m just too picky, like I want a man who is perfectly perfect. But what they don’t understand is — I’m not asking for perfection. I’m asking for peace. For effort. For intention. For someone who wants marriage, not just conversations that lead nowhere. I’m tired. I’m patient, but I’m tired. I just want someone I can talk to someone who sees me, understands me, respects me, and says, “Let’s build something real. maybe Allah see us through , a simple girl who's pouring her heavy heart,

assalamu alaikum I'm a young lady who is so full of life since my day one I grew up hearing my story as a jovial little girl that everybody loves toh yanzu I'm grown up alhamdulillah I'm a kind of lady who wishes to have a man that will give her that love and attention a man with the intention of marriage. like I have so many ways to Express love to someone I always learn about that but I haven't gotten the right man I feel like I'm in a wrong generation I'm a girl who loves a lovey dovey man cuz I'm a lovey dovey person but I haven't met the right man to Express those. I've been in a relationship where the man tells me I'm too good for him and I deserved better it happened to me more than twice and they tell me that same statement of"i deserve better" SO WHEN WILL I MEET THE BETTER PERSON " the society has made me hide my real self although I'm a happy person regardless I'm supposed to enjoy baby girl treatment 😭 not that men like that don't exist they do but I just see them doing that to other women and I feel those women are lucky to have the life I wish to have(not that I'm jealous of them ) I'm even happy for those ladies. my kind heart and loving heart is fading away due to meeting wrong men 😔 sometimes I feel like I'm under a spell or something (asiri) because whoever I met as a man tells me how wonderful I am and we never really breakup due to fight issue we just split because they think I deserve better 🤧 or they just ghost

My father's behaviour is harmful to my mental and emotional well-being. I am a widow aged 34,he doesn't allow me make my own choices. Career wise😭 nasamu admission a KASU sau biyu after finishing secondary. He never allowed me go because,medicine was what he wanted 4 years went just like that.I later found out he wanted me to study medicine so he can brag to his family members.I obeyed him and got admitted into the university to study medicine , amma dayake ba rabo an issue came up and i changed my course. He is constantly monitoring and interfering in his my decisions and activities. Like my phone calls with my suitors, banda ikon waya da sauri😭. He sits and watches me through CCTV in his room idan ina zance a tsakar gida.He is never happy if been approached da maganar aurena. My father gets happy any time my relationship fails. In anzo maganar neman aurena he doesn't even give listening ears. He says to me insamu aiki kawai shine damuwarsa. He told my mother cewa nina taba aure basai nayi aure ba kawai insamu aiki kawai. Yahanani neman aiki , nasamu aiki har guda biyu nayi aiki dasu yace nabari aikin nadawo gida zai dunga bani albashi duk wata. Idan zai bada kudin yayi gori yana cewa ba aikin danake nakarbi kudi. I have never disobeyed him, with all these i believe he is doing it to protect me. Bayada buri wadda yawuce nayi aiki uniform( force).I was recently invited for a job interview in Abuja, i seek his permission and he approved for my trip. Bayan nadawo sai yacemun wai ina abunda nagadama acikin gida naje abuja yawo😭😭i cried my eyes because wallahi rabona da wani da namiji tun mijina yana raye. Mamana saitayi ta bani hakuri tacemin komi lokaci ne inyi biyayya. My problem now he monitors and interferes in my activities and decisions sabida ina gida agabansa, he told me cewa dazarar kinsamu aikin (uniform) din danake miki pursing kinsamu freedom😭. I don't have freedom to have suitors or move freely saidai na zauna agida bana zuwa ko ina?Sannan banason aikin uniform din dayakeso yakaini i have tried talking to him to get something related to my field. Amma yaki😥 infact he has threatened not to get the job, yace nafita nabar mishi gida, inbiyashi kudinsa. Narasa meke mindadi

assalamu alaikum everyone so recently my aunty gave my number to a good friend of hers muna hira da shi sosai lami lafiya ni dai I'm a graduate currently pursuing my master's almost done, and I'm currently working in a private organisation I'm doing fine alhamdulillah but the man is a car wash man(me wankin mota) he's not all that educated but he really wants to marry me. the reason I'm worried is 1. when we get married he won't meet to my standards I even doubt if my parents will allow that 2. he's a genuine sweet man, gentle, kind, resilience he has every qualities of a good man kuma ya iya soyayya da magana me dadi 3. ni ba me wulakanci bane sam!! I really don't know how to let him know that we are not in thesame standards for marriage. I really need people's advice on this kuma idan na kawo miji gida na ce musu me wankin Mota ne za'a samu babban matsala my dad will never agree to that

Breaking up hating each other is better than breaking up when you both care for each other. I met her at a very fragile stage, she was heartbroken, i felt more like her older brother. She's definitely not my type. She's not a bad person but we are not really compatible that much. As friends we would be okay but relationship, marriage? That's a disaster. She's someone who is comfortable with a simple message for a day. Whereas i crave attention. She's hot tempered and I'm someone who is carefree and hates drama. I'm someone who likes a patient understanding partner whereas she's someone who likes to jump to conclusions. I have my own shortcomings as well, There are other mismatches which i can't disclose here out of respect for her. Am i a bad person if i end things because i see red flags that will cause issues for us in the future? I'm someone who dislikes drama and I'm told most women are dramatic. This is the second relationship I've had to end when we both care for each other. Maybe I'm being impatient with women? You don't have to respond. I Just want to clear my head I'll be dropping the message i sent as a picture. Tell me what you think if you can relate

You have 1000 naira to spend on your ideal partner pick wisely ---------------------------------------------------------- For the women 🧍‍♂️ Build Your Man – You Have ₦1000 Only 1. Pays Bills Without Complaining – ₦500 2. Extremely Faithful – ₦400 3. Funny & Playful – ₦300 4. Emotionally Available – ₦300 5. Helps with House Chores – ₦200 6. Ambitious with Clear Goals – ₦400 7. God-Fearing – ₦300 --------------------------------------------------------- For the men 🧍‍♀️ Build Your Woman – You Have ₦1000 Only 1. Submissive & Respectful – ₦400 2. Good Cook – ₦350 3. Naturally Beautiful – ₦300 4. Peaceful (No drama) – ₦400 5. Financially Independent – ₦350 No ₦1100 spending here Choose your ideal partner carefully and let's see who you’d build.

You have 1000 naira to spend on your ideal partner. Pick wisely. For the women 🧍‍♂️ Build Your Man – You Have ₦1000 Only 1. Pays Bills Without Complaining – ₦500 2. Extremely Faithful – ₦400 3. Funny & Playful – ₦300 4. Emotionally Available – ₦300 5. Helps with House Chores – ₦200 6. Ambitious with Clear Goals – ₦400 7. God-Fearing – ₦300 --- For the men 🧍‍♀️ Build Your Woman – You Have ₦1000 Only 1. Submissive & Respectful – ₦400 2. Good Cook – ₦350 3. Naturally Beautiful – ₦300 4. Peaceful (No drama) – ₦400 5. Financially Independent – ₦350 No ₦1100 spending here Choose your ideal partner carefully and let's see who you’d build.

Salam...good afternoon everyone ya aiki da qoqari, Allah ya temaka ameen. Please I'm a Biology graduate about to complete my Master’s degree at BUK, Kano. I volunteered with UNICEF working as a Ward Supervisor since 2023,facilitating social and behavioral change mobilization, resolving non compliance, community dialogues, microcensus, and antenatal/immunization data collection and transmission. Our work was recently terminated as majority of the wards were declared free of those issues, or so we were told. I’m now looking for any NGO or organization in need of volunteers please in Kano. I have a strong passion for community work especially in health sector as kano still faces challenges in maternal and child health, low immunization rates and poor antenatal care. Some communities still struggle with health misinformation and poor services. I want to contribute towards improving access to quality health care services kn underserved communities as i have plenty of time. I also run a business that sustains me so salary isn’t a must. I just want to learn, connect, and serve humanity.

Assalamu alaikum good evening pls I need advice from you and yan aji A marriage proposal came to my dad seeking for my hand in marriage but I have a boyfriend even though the boyfriend isn't ready to marry me even in the next 2year to come🥲 I'm 24 years old I love my boyfriend I really do but I don't know what to do, my father didn't tell me he asked my mother if I'm seeing someone and she told him "yes" but the problem here is if I'll tell my dad that my current bf isn't ready to marry me he'll get really furious Bcox my dad isn't the type that force his children into something they don't want to especially important things like marriage but what he hates the most is rejecting marriage proposals. I don't know what to do I don't want to disappoint my father by telling him my bf isn't ready to marry me. what should I do pls🥲💔

Assalam Alaikum I don't know why it's so hard for me to make friends,not even friends alone I don't even have a boyfriend, Maybe I'm not doing something right, But I don't really see myself like I'm a bad person I've good relationships with my family But when it comes to having friends ,I don't know why it doesn't work I'm a female tho🤧