Assalamualaikum arewa up family. there is something that has being bothering me. there is this girl we meet few days a go. we are getting to know each other but this girl keeps talking about marriage is like she is desperate to get marriage she never cares about love discussion like if I talk to how about how much she loves me and other important things about our future she never reply or she would gives an incomplete reply she would not shows interest about the conversation but when it comes to marriage she'll be nagging asking when I'm I coming to see her parents what year is going to be our marriage and stuffs like that. and she told me early that her dad Is trying to give her out to a already married person if she didn't provide someone. and she said she doesn't like him. I'm afraid this girl never loves me she is only trying to escape marrying that elderly man. I'm afraid of marriage without love. I'm afraid of being trapped in a home where love doesn't exist where issues will be raising due to absence of love pls I'm seeking for advice on this I'm totally confused but I still truly loved her just that I'm doubting her love towards me

Assalamu alaikum! 👋 lately on social media you would notice high rate of divorce mostly on norther part of Nigeria and most genders, (both male & female) stupidly (with all due respect 😊) blame each other, insult each other, and disrespect each other, and talk about solution that dose not reflect on themselves... even though most of us know that this is part of signs of the end days ☀️ but we have let our guards down so low to the extent that our Islamic knowledge is subconsciously fading and hardly reflects in our daily lives. so why is this happening???? well, there are various factors but the most terrible ones are our: 1- our ego 2- our stupidity 3- our environment 4- being disrespect from this point, I am going to use this platform to talk to my comrades (males AKA guys AKA men AKA boys) what ever you want to call it... I, personally blame men for causing most divorces (not all) because the act of divorce can only be executed by a man. as a man, we should be able to protect ourselves from allowing a female's natural instincts from leading displeasing Allah SWT both in action and in words. we should almost not react to all misbehaviors caused by a lady... that's their nature, the are created to behave in an unstable way. Abu'Huraira R.A clearly stated it in one of his Hadith that a female is like a rib born and can never be straighten even when you try otherwise it will break. another Hadith I can remember who narrated it: that the Prophet of Allah PBUH told one of his companions (whose wife was late) to marry a lady. He did and spent years with her treating her well with love and respect, when she passed away, it was revealed that he never loved her nor has feelings for her but yet that dose not stop him from treating her well. and all her thought was that he loved her so much. Guys what exactly am I saying here? you should marry someone you don't love? no not at all, love is part of the Islamic conditions to marry a lady but not the most important aspect nor is it what holds marriage together. so what exactly I am saying here if love is not the key to ever lasting marriage? just hold on a bit, I will soon tell you. another point, that is noteworthy, we, the men, we need to know that find a lady that will love you for sake of Allah is a privilege given only by SWT and not everyone man has or is destined to receive such privilege, but you could if you pray for it sincerely... Then what is the solution to this? what exactly I am holding from you my guys? The answer will be on chapter #2 of this eye opening secret for me I n which insha Allah I will post soon... believe me guys, what I'm about to tell you on the next chapter will totally change the way you think about marriage, I promise 😊 meanwhile, let's have an open discussion on the comment section to prepare ourselves in the best form before meeting our Creator. with heart full of love and respect for the Muslim brothers and sisters on this platform: Eid Mubaraq, Takabballalhu minna wa'minkum 😊 bissalam. @atta et ul

I'm an emotionally complex person, I've never had a serious relationship until I finished higher institution. Girls do ask me out right from secondary school down to higher institution but I've noticed once such occurs, i lose interest in them.... I might be crushing on you but once you make the first move, i withdraw. At some point, i felt i was cursed... Till i met two ladies. I love both of them and I'm not a fan of polygamy but if i was given a choice between them i wouldn't be able to choose. The first one, we connect on okay level, she loves me so much and gives me her time.... This has me drawn to her... I had to leave due to her anger issues, I can't even express myself for fear of getting into a quarrel. The second person, she's everything i could ever wanted, we connect well, we love each other but.... She's always busy as she's a nurse. I met her parents and talks about marriage were on ground.... At first i tried to tolerate her work load, but as time went on i wasn't happy, we would go for weeks without talking on the phone, we were having a conversation one time and she asked me to promise to never ask her to choose between her marriage and her work... Because she wouldn't be able to choose. I had to withdraw... It was very painful because i still love her but i had to do it for our own good. She hates me now but i tell myself it's better than for her to hate me when we are married... I don't want to be that husband who squashes his wife's dream. Ever since then i lost interest, i find dating stressful, whenever i meet any lady and we start to talk, there's this feeling that comes to my mind that says this lady doesn't love you she's just desperate to get married. And i believe it to be true. Most of the ladies i meet don't care if I'm a good person or not. Once we talk and they know I'm single and working. The next conversation is come and meet my father. There's this lady i met, we've been talking for 3 days only and the next question i received was when are you coming to greet my parents. I was shocked. You don't know me, what if I'm a woman beater? Etc... Sometimes... I berate myself for pushing all these people away, I'd like to think maybe I'm being too picky or maybe my intentions are right? What are your frank assessment of me?

Guys Am I D Only One Facing This ? I'm a Graduate, Currently serving,Smart And a Great Sense of Humor. Fair ,Tall Good looking And I have A Great Body Cox I Gym. Am Not So Rich But Alhamdulillah I Have A Smoth Life. Most people Mistake Me For Ajeboh But am Not. So Here Is The Funny Things With All This Qualities I Find It Hard To Find a Lady. Not Because I Don't Try. The Funny Things is No Matter How I Try I won't work. Many Ladies Make The First Move by communicating their interest. But One Way Or The Other The relationship will not go Forward. sometime it last for a day sometimes week.Mind You I Know My stuf. meaning I know So much about Relationship. Cox I Even match make People, And it Works For them some are Even married now. my friend comes to me About Relationship Advice and insight. So Is there anyone here Having This kind of Thing ? Wanan Shi Yake Nunawa If God Does Not Want something To happen it will Not.Allah Ya Kawo Mana Mai Albarka. But it's Get Bored and lonely Somedays

assalamu alaikum I just want to get a husband out my family wallahi last week was my birthday kuma my aunty posted me so wani a family ya ga hoto na and was disturbing her for my number wlh qiri qiri bata bada number na ba tana ta corner corner this is not the first time something like this is happening to me wlh sau da yawa my aunties or cousins find a way to stop a suitor from approaching me. this is why my mum promises that idan miji ya fito min baza ta fada wa kowa ba har se lokacin biki yayi saboda a family akwai yan bakin ciki sosai kuma wlh any man I get is usually a very good person and doing fine for himself but idan de har sun sani se sunyi yanda sukayi suka bata. and same auntie will keep disturbing me to marry everyday 🤣 well alhamdulillah I'm not bothered and thanks to my mum and her advice she said idan de har mijin ki ne toh se kunyi auren nan sedai idan ba mijin ki bane. so right now I just wish to get a husband that my family doesn't know I don't even want a husband from the family

It was a wonderful adventure and a loving relationship, but unfortunately, I lost her. I say 'lost her not because my feelings have faded, but because the possibility of us being together seems slim. We've been together for over a year, and I took a step to formalize our relationship by visiting her parents. They mentioned she plans to further her studies after graduating from a college of health, and I was willing to wait for her. However, I discovered she was seeing someone else, too. At that point, I realized our relationship wouldn't work out. I asked her to choose between us, but she didn't, which made it clear where her priorities lay. I've since moved on, but she still reaches out to me. As a matter of pride and self-respect, I don't want to be an option; I want to be the one and only. That's how our relationship came to an end.

Who's in for a midnight deep conversation? Note : I'm a male

hello assalamu alaikum fam please I'm really in need of your advice and tips on how to forget my ex it's almost 2 years now but I still love him I miss him I feel empty without him sai nake ga Kamar bazan kara samun wani Kamar shi ba nayi kukan Nayi adduar ba wai na fidda rai da Rahamat Allah bane ah ah I'm just tired I really want to forget about him and focus on my future NB it was few months to our wedding and then something came up please help me with tips and advice da zan manta da shi

boyfriend wahala make I know come kill myself at young age but like serious talk men what is the exact color of your problem can't share my story here but want to advice men with such habit dan Allah kudaina wllh babu kyau cin amana a girl will love and trust you with all her heart but u end up hurting and braking her heart into pieces Allah ya kyauta plc kutayani da addu'a friends I'm really in need of it Allah ya kawomin Wanda yafishi Mae albarka

let's discuss

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I don't know koh a goshi mutum ake ganin shine right person 🥹Buh am tired of dis wrong ones wnd b Allah a ransu duk wnd k hadu dashi the same problem b aure Ke kawoshi bah 🥹Astagfirullah kullum adduah kake Amma shiru Yah Allah 🥹😭please am asking how to find the right one Wlh Am really tired 😪🥹

My relationship is shaky at the moment cos my bf keeps misbehaving and is sometimes cold and distant but then he swears he loves me, he changes like a chameleon. I've tried talking things out to no avail, we just end up fighting and making things worse and then he blames me for not wanting peace to reign, so I've decided to give him space to sort himself out. At first I thought about ending the relationship cos I'm just about fed up with his nonesense, but I decided to try giving him space if that doesn't work then we can go our separate ways. Precisely how much space should you give someone though? I'm not telling him I'm giving him space I will just disappear maybe for a week or two.

I and my boyfriend met through social media, we're both mature adults and the first thing he told me was I was exactly his type and he was interested in marrying me which made sense to me because I also wanted to get married and I let him know right away that I wasn't interested in playing any games. So we both clearly stated our intentions right from day one, I don't know how but I fell in love and everything was going smoothly until it wasn't anymore. Fast forward to 5 months into the relationship and it has become one sided, he's always super busy and never has time to see me but I kept playing the patient and understanding girlfriend and brushed it off, I finally decided to express how his actions hurt me but he showed no regard for my feelings whatsoever and never apologized, he just left me on READ. I realized i'm only deceiving myself and now I want to move on from him but it's not easy so I made a list of all his red flags that I've been ignoring: 1.Doesn’t call you🚩 2.Doesn’t acknowledge your feelings🚩 3.Doesn’t show you he cares🚩 4.Doesn’t do anything for you🚩 5.Has never given you anything🚩 6.Doesn’t communicate🚩 7.Doesn’t care how you are🚩 8.Leaves you on read🚩 9.Doesn’t make any effort to make the relationship work🚩 10.Keeps canceling plans🚩 11.Sexualizes you🚩 12.Tries to touch you even after you expressed discomfort🚩 13.Makes promises he doesn’t keep🚩 14.Says he will call you back but never does🚩 No man that loves me will treat me this way and especially seeing how patient I've been with him. I'm hoping spelling out his flaws will help me move on and forget him quicker.

All my life ever since I was a kid I've only had one dream which is to get married the Islamic way and settle and have a family. But Allah cikin ikonsa bai sa hakan ya faru ba, har na kai 29yrs a duniya. I never seem to meet the right person, ni mai kamun kai ce da nutsuwa kuma bana shigar banza but I always fall into the wrong hands time and time again, no one is ever serious about marrying me sai de su bata mun lokaci ko suyi kokarin lalata da ni which bana yarda, duk haka relationships dina suke ending. Na gaji, nayi kukan, nayi adduar amma still. Recently na hadu da wani da farko kamar mutumin kirki tunda ya taba aure sun rabu da matar har da yaransu 4, ya zo min da maganar aure everything was going fine amma along the way sai ya fara min maganar banza ni kuma na nuna mishi bana so sai ya dena. I thought abu ya wuce muka cigaba da ganin juna har muka fara sabawa sosai kawai sai ya fara kokarin taba ni, akan haka har mukayi fada sosai nace Kar ya sake min haka yace bazai sake ba amma yana so na but tun lokacin the relationship hasn't been the same in fact bai ma sake zuwa wajena ba kuma muka rage yin magana kullum he's busy. I've been trying to convince myself the relationship will work amma nagane hauka na kawai nakeyi ni kadai ba aure na zai yi ba dama iskanci yake so kuma ya ga bazai samu ba shiyesa yake ta ja da baya. Amma duk da nasan hakan my heart is pained because I was hoping I had finally met my husband ashe ba haka bane, but I don't even know how to move on now I'm so broken. Don Allah ku saka ni a addua Allah Ya bani mai sona da gaske, kuma ku bani shawara ya zanyi na cire abun a rai na. Nagode

I met this girl and honestly i like her but so many guys are on her matter. The first day we met, she was expecting a guy as well who will bring her food. Told me that it's her cousin's friend. I shrugged it off. I met her when she was broken and i felt it's my job to fix her. She has a shape that makes her an instant attraction to guys, little wonder that she falls into bad hands. Now I'm into this relationship not just as her boyfriend but i see myself as her older brother. I feel the need to guide her on the choices she makes in life. Last two weeks they went for a wedding, this girl was outside till 11pm, told me her cousin's friend was eyeing her although she told him she has someone but he still persisted. Took her with her sister into his car and they went out to eat. I didn't complain. Yesterday she told me she'll be heading to school and she'll be going along with a guy. Why will you be going to school with a guy? That it's her course mate and they'll be doing the registration together since he knows someone. I said okay. Now she's telling me she'll be heading somewhere else before she goes to tomorrow that one of her lecturer abi what told her that he wants her to come, he wants to see her "to discuss something". What is there to discuss that you can't on the phone that you have to go and meet him? I feel this is the last straw for me. As much as I want to be the one to save her i have realized that you can't save everyone, sometimes you need to let people walk into their destruction and hope they learn something out of it. Is there any way to salvage this relationship?

So hey I think wait no I know I am lonely it's sad but true life has been hard so I never thought of a relationship 💔 but I want one now but there's no one in my town I want to date there not caring 😶 there boring they really are 😭 but ya I want a boyfriend that's loving caring and gives attention when he can! is that much ? someone who would be broken if he lost me 😊 and I am not getting any matches on the app so is the problem me ?

gist me about your day are you lonely or enjoying yourself

Assalamu Alaikum I recently registered for a matchmaking and wants to upload my picture but I'm afraid of it appearing on the Instagram page. Y'all knew how people tend to be these days, ones a lady signed for a matchmaking boom she's out of options ko kuma doesn't have suitors which in many cases isn't the fact. So I just needs clarifications please, how does it works, the display picture? Thank you.

Dear Arewa up community I hope this message finds you well. Approximately three years ago, my relationship with my ex-girlfriend ended due to her involvement with another individual. At the time, she openly expressed her feelings for this person, leading to our separation. Since then, we have had no communication. Recently, I reached out to her via WhatsApp to greet her. Following our initial exchange, she began expressing remorse and requested reconciliation. She is seeking forgiveness and hopes we can rekindle our relationship. I initiated the contact, and while I still have deep feelings for her, I am uncertain about the appropriate course of action. I find myself reflecting on our past and contemplating the possibility of giving our relationship another chance. I am seeking advice on the following: Should I consider reconciling with her? What questions should I ask to understand her past actions and current intentions better? How can I ensure that any decision I make is in my best interest emotionally and mentally? Your insights and guidance would be greatly appreciated as I navigate this complex situation. Thank you for taking the time to read my message.