Assalam. I am someone who loves lovemaking in a stylis way. I love deep cuddling, romance and extreme intimacy. I love to enjoy diffrent sex styles/position with my wife. Unfortunately this girl doesn't learn. It is sad that I watch a lot of porn videos I have been exposed to so many sex styles. Because of these things, I made a decision that I will not marry a Hausa girl because I know our Hausa girls are not that romantic and they pretend to be shy atimes. I married this Igbira girl I met at ABU during my undergraduate studies. This girl unfortunately is not diffrent from what I run for in Hausa girls. Even simple doggy style, this girl will not bend for me she will be "No I don't want do that" she will just lie on bed looking up to ceiling and open her legs for me to drill. This is only position she allows me do. I am already bored of this as I feel as if I am making love wth a dead body. I tried to engage her in a cowgirl, wheelbarrow, reverse cowgirl, snowgirl e.t.c but this girl doesn't cooperate.
Food she no de cook. She goes to school to teach both in afternoon and evening. From my part, I try to do everything within my pwer to make this girl happy. I even renovated her parents house in Okene and her sister who attends BUK in Kano lives in our house, I give her transport money and atimes even pocket money.
My question is, do I have right to force this girl to make love with her the way I want, the style I want, or she is the own with sole right to decide how I sleep with her? Please advise me on what I should do about this.
My wife is 27 years and I am 34. It is been 3 yrs since we married. We have 1 daughter.
What were you doing during courtship? You skipped the important questions? The issue of cooking, you can enroll her into a cooking class if she's willing to learn. But when it comes to romance that one is a serious issue. Just add another wife. If you say you will endure you'll remain unfulfilled and it can later on resort to bitterness and resentment. Romance is very important and when the energy isn't the same, it becomes a problem.
add a second wife and look for a Hausa girl you thought they were not romantic, believe me the result will be different
it feels like people think that we the Hausa's are not exposed and we have no knowledge when it comes to stuffs like this and the issue is you said she is not willing to learn and it doesn't sit well with her at least try some to make you happy your own way , well my advice here is try and have a heart to heart conversation with her, show her how this is important to you and how is really affecting you in your marriage ka nuna baccin rai sosai you mu mata munfi fahimta in that manner.Allah yasa a samu mafita
But on a honest note hausa ladies and being romantic is 1 and 10. All other aspect(cleanliness, taking care of the home etc) is A+ but you see that other side there are issues there. Although not all hausa ladies are like that but most of the people who complain about it are mostly hausas. If i were the poster, i can't really talk to my wife about it... I'll feel I'm trying to turn her into who she's not. I won't be happy as well. I'll feel she's doing it to make me happy and not because she's into it. It'll feel one sided.
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