My father's behaviour is harmful to my mental and emotional well-being. I am a widow aged 34,he doesn't allow me make my own choices. Career wise😭 nasamu admission a KASU sau biyu after finishing secondary. He never allowed me go because,medicine was what he wanted 4 years went just like that.I later found out he wanted me to study medicine so he can brag to his family members.I obeyed him and got admitted into the university to study medicine , amma dayake ba rabo an issue came up and i changed my course.
He is constantly monitoring and interfering in his my decisions and activities. Like my phone calls with my suitors, banda ikon waya da sauri😭. He sits and watches me through CCTV in his room idan ina zance a tsakar gida.He is never happy if been approached da maganar aurena. My father gets happy any time my relationship fails. In anzo maganar neman aurena he doesn't even give listening ears. He says to me insamu aiki kawai shine damuwarsa. He told my mother cewa nina taba aure basai nayi aure ba kawai insamu aiki kawai. Yahanani neman aiki , nasamu aiki har guda biyu nayi aiki dasu yace nabari aikin nadawo gida zai dunga bani albashi duk wata. Idan zai bada kudin yayi gori yana cewa ba aikin danake nakarbi kudi. I have never disobeyed him, with all these i believe he is doing it to protect me. Bayada buri wadda yawuce nayi aiki uniform( force).I was recently invited for a job interview in Abuja, i seek his permission and he approved for my trip. Bayan nadawo sai yacemun wai ina abunda nagadama acikin gida naje abuja yawo😭😭i cried my eyes because wallahi rabona da wani da namiji tun mijina yana raye. Mamana saitayi ta bani hakuri tacemin komi lokaci ne inyi biyayya.
My problem now he monitors and interferes in my activities and decisions sabida ina gida agabansa, he told me cewa dazarar kinsamu aikin (uniform) din danake miki pursing kinsamu freedom😭. I don't have freedom to have suitors or move freely saidai na zauna agida bana zuwa ko ina?Sannan banason aikin uniform din dayakeso yakaini i have tried talking to him to get something related to my field. Amma yaki😥 infact he has threatened not to get the job, yace nafita nabar mishi gida, inbiyashi kudinsa. Narasa meke mindadi
You didn't disobey him in any way. Even God knows that you are trying your best. At your age, he should not be interfering with your lifestyle; instead, he should guide you as a parent.
The pressure is too much, and he is not considering your feelings. Threatening to kick you out of his house is not acceptable.
My advice is to not leave the house just yet. Try to start looking for a job; once you secure a job, you can consider moving out. If you have a boyfriend who is interested in marrying you, ask him how ready he is for that commitment. If he is ready, then tell your mom about your plans and seek her blessing.
if mom bless you inshallah everything will work out for you.
more over ki ta adua sosai especially Night prayer if you are not used to night praying.
try to start even for good one month inshallah within the month you will see change
Insha Allah, God will help you through this.
yana so ki zama likita hakazalika yana so ki zama soja….is alright
dear poster, sorry about your current situation. I pray Allah bring you out of it. I have gone through your profile and I realized you posted 3x(that’s without being anonymous). the first one was 2 years ago, then another one year ago and this one being the recent one. I have noticed some inconsistencies in your story. the first one is that, u said you are a widow here, while the other 2 post you made, u said you are a divorcee
the 2nd inconsistency is that your first 2 post was about meeting guys who were after your body, it was like that was the thing stopping u from getting married, Bcox u kept meeting guys with bad intention. you even titled your previous post “ are saint guys still available please”, that was one year ago, no mention of your dad in any of the post. but here, you made us believe your dad is the single most important factor affecting your relationship life negatively
the 3rd inconsistency is that your dad stopped you from dating guys, he even monitors your room using cctv and also monitors your fone calls, while the previous post, you mentioned how u were very active in social media, you even dated 6 different men, one was even from lagos, and these guys even visit you at home. how did you manage to them up to 6 men despite being under heavy scrutiny?
the last inconsistency is that after your divorce, you were focused on your career(from your 1st post), while here you mentioned that ur dad denied you from schooling (except you agree to study medicine), denied you from working and even paid you to stay at home. I hope u can be able to clarify these, and I also wish u all d best
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