you know it's all kind of confusing me yanda ake putting dinshi in our local language, "mallam zai duba miki ko akwai haske" and if mallam says babu haske, I'm expected to just leave the relationship in one way or the other.
I feel like I'm putting faith in the mallam instead of Allah. The thing is I've being doing it on my own about this particular guy for more than 4 years, almost every single time I pray, but I'm just still confused about the outcome because things are just so unclear, one day we are doing well and the next day otherwise.
Sometimes I feel like I'm the problem, I'm being impatient and too demanding (because even though I'm really patient, I'm also hot tempered), but when I look at it I really believe I'm giving it my best and only asking for what is right, I can't just settle for the least. Since he came home and they've started talking about the wedding, it has being really really unimaginablely difficult, I cried half of the nights before I became immune to the changes in his behaviour, sometimes I feel like it's a NO answer from my istikhara while sometimes I remember that shaidan wants to destroy anything good we do, a typical example is marriage. and I can also remember hearing how people hardly made it at that point, so I always consider being patient and trusting the process, though I'm really exhausted, we dated for 6 years plus, there's a lot of ups and downs.
So I told my sister everything and asked for her advice, then she suggested one mallam that did istikhara for her sometime that we should try him, she still managed to have his contact so she called him and gave him our names, now mallam yace akwai alkhairi sosai but it's one girl that loves him and wants to separate us that's why things are being complicated, I don't really believe him but I'm more confused š
Sister, youāre putting more trust in a mallam than in Allah, thatās not istikhara, thatās misguidance (kuma na tabbata malamin bidāa ne).
What do you mean āmalam zai duba ko akwai haskeāš? This is not the Sunnah way of Istikhara. In fact, it could enter the realm of bidāah or even shirk if youāre not careful.
Istikhara is a duāa that the Prophet (SAW) taught us to seek Allahās guidance directly (not through a third party, not through visions, and definitely not through people who claim to see the unseen)
Youāre clinging to a man and a relationship Allah might be trying to save you from. Six years of emotional chaos is not a sign to push forward itās a sign to walk away. Stop confusing your stubbornness with patience. Let go before you destroy your peace and your deen.
This itself is a form of shirtk, discard and conclusion form the mallam, if you are having so much conflict with someone since before marriage, is not a good indication, though it depends on the type of conflict
Sister the fact that you keep having problems back and forth, that itself is a sign already. Anything that's meant to work will neither have any troubles nor problems but will unfold and absolutely come with ease...
NB: There's no intermediary between you and Allah. so u don't need any mallam doing anything on ur behalf, go to Allah directly pls
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