It's said life begins at 40. Well I'm here and would well tell for myself soon enough. As I'm at this important milestone in human life, while I wait to see what God the Almighty has planned for me down the lane I can't help but reminisce and look back at the last 20 years of my life. They have been full of events and perhaps lessons that ultimately shaped who I have become later in life. I want to use this opportunity to tell younger persons here what I have learnt in my life's journey which I believe would be of help to some of you. I'm going to look back at my life in the last 2 decades or even beyond in areas of friendship, relationship, work, family and much more. FRIENDSHIP Now I firmly believe that you are who you befriend. When I stayed with good friends I did good things, when I stayed with bad friends I did bad things and also, when I stayed with hopeless friends I was almost also hopeless. My decisions and choices in life were invariably influenced by the friends I kept. As I stand today I realised there were a lot of friendships that I shouldn't have been into because they led me into doing things that have left almost permanent marks in my life up to today and there's really nothing I can do about it. At 20 I should have sat down to really map out my priorities much better based on a clear vision of who I wanted to become; I should have sat more with people of wisdom and those who were older than me and who were an image or example of who I really wanted to become later in life; I should have surrounded myself more with friends who were doing well to build their lives on purpose and determination. Along the way and almost at a point when no change would make any much impact I realised I should have done more of those things mentioned above because I now realised the little of such things that I did have produced massive positive results for me at a time when I need such positive results. Enjoying such bountiful rewards later in life makes me bite my fingers saying to myself I should have done much more of those things. Today, I'm comfortable with a good education and job alhamdulillah and also a reasonable life all of which I can now see how my past choices and people I associated with when I was younger have played pivotal roles in achieving them. Also, the things I couldn't achieve I realised were caused by some unwise choices which I should have done better on or leveraged on some people's experiences to achieve them. All in all, Allah's destiny on His servants is achieved through a cause and effect principle which underscores the importance of holding unto causes and means while firmly relying totally on Allah. In summary, make as much valuable friends as possible when you are young and associate with people who are way advanced than you are in order to learn and improve your life. Never settle with mediocre friends and people who do not add value to your life or challenge you. RELATIONSHIP Today I look back and often laugh and get surprised at how I wasted my time on pursuing some relationships that would result into nothing tangible, instead of focussing on building my future. I realised that the older I got and the more successful I became, I was able to get access to a class of relationship that I once hoped for but was unable to get due to my previous situation of lack of position, power or means. Gradually I saw how I can easily get that kind of lady that I once saw as a dream when I was younger and less privileged; I later understood how I was unable to get the attention I wanted from ladies back then. As I moved higher and grew older, I noticed how women would always prefer stability, maturity and comfort and how that influenced the partners they choose - only then did I understand how I wasted my time in trying to get what I was not yet ready for. In a nutshell, as a young man never waste your time on ladies, waste your time on building a successful life and later you can get the woman of your dream and you would be surprised how easy that would come by. FAMILY As a family man, with 4 beautiful kids I now fully understand the meaning of being a father. I now make more sense of the things that puzzled me about my late father; I now understand how the interaction between my father and mom ultimately influenced how I now treat my wife and kids. I enjoyed a peaceful home as a child and later in life I realised my top priority in a woman I wanted to marry was the one who was typically like my mom, and the kind of union I wanted to have was that kind between my mom and dad. What this means is parenting style and nature of relationship between parents have a direct effect on your life and choices. Since when I married and later became a father, I understood the true and actual meaning of sacrifice. Importantly, I learned how society and particularly friends could make you do things differently from how your parents brought you up. LIFE Looking back, I see how the totality of one's life is already preplanned by Allah the Almighty. I also see how Allah has put us fully in charge of our lives - we can be whatever we want to be provided we follow the right channels, do the needful, associate with and learn from the right people, and rely on accept Allah's final decision. I now know that separate from friends, parents, colleagues and other people, the one key and unique person that plays unmatched role in our lives is our spouse. I now firmly believe that our current and future physical, mental, emotional, economic and social statuses are made or marred by our spouse. Having the right spouse is the single most important thing in our lives after having the right parents, and of course Allah's guidance. One could be a loser all through their lives but later becomes a winner when they get the right spouse. On the contrary, one could build a successful life and later lose everything once they marry the wrong spouse. Today, I know that if I had married a certain kind of spouse my life wouldn't have been blissful as it is today, also I believe my life would have been better if I had married someone better than my current spouse. I realised that the coming of the right partner into my life has helped me sustain my gains and continue to grow in abundance. So that's it, if I should go back 20 years there are lots of things I would have done differently (more, or less, or even not at all) considering how I now witness each one of them has made me who I'm today. Alhamdulillah that Allah has allowed me have a life that I'm proud of with less regrets courtesy of His mercy. Looking at some people I grew up with or who are even friends I can see how differently we all are faring in life and a deeper look would reveal how the choices we made and the things we did in our individual youthful lives influenced and produced what and who we are today. SO MAKE THE BEST USE OF YOUR TIME BEFORE YOU HAVE NO CHANCE TO USE IT TO YOUR ADVANTAGE.

I am thinking a person should mention his/ her own positive & negative behavior as it's going to help reduce marriage conflicts. e.g i am a jealous person, I have no anger control, but i am also fun to be with, crazy & simple personality... Also mention any underlying medical conditions i.e diabetic, Asthmatic, HTN, SCD etc...

Malam Baza kasan Ana sanyi ba ⛄😬 saika leqa window da Daddare 🌚 kaga Aljani 👹 Da Rigan sanyi 👕.......😒

I need advice please I've date 3 Barristers amma dukansu 3 daya ne kadai mutumin kirki shikuma sai Allah yayi genotype dinmu baiyi matching ba 😓😥amma sauran biyun kawai sunyi playing heart dina Barrister's why are you like this please? The 2nd one told me that barrister ai sai barrister dama,because am a law student too yayi duk wani abu that can make me to love him amma anayin xancen ya turo shikenan na nemeshi na rasa the 3rd one too kamar da gaske anayin maganar aure before the count of 2 he disappear I never see him again and kowannensu bayan tazara sosai nake qara haduwa dawani unfortunately all the 3 happens to barrister's 😞😞so this started making me to think otherwise so many thoughts on my mind like seriously ynxu tsoron barristocin nan nakeyi because gani nake their all thesame please I need some words of condolences it's too hard to endure 🥺😓😩😩

Assalamu alaikum brethren. Since I joined the forum I've come across different posts, comments and replies. And I'll say people are really trying. Kudos to you all👍🏽👍🏽. You rarely see negative comments. Gradually I began to notice some names by the kind of things they post/comment. There are those that their words speak wisdom, the funny ones are there, the ones that by mere reading what they post you'd know that they are beautiful souls. Deep down I wish to know some of them, become more acquainted and know them on a deeper level but I feel I can't😔. Cos I am not the type that can keep friends. I'm so used to being a loner and I kind of enjoy it. Even though some days I wish I had a particular kind of person that is there for me or by me. My circle of friends is so small and I like it that way. Even if I make a new friend the friendship doesn't last. We just become strangers that know each other 😅. And I think it's because I don't put any effort towards maintaining the friendship unless we really really connect. I do post and comment on here. Mostly as anonymous. I vibe and catch cruise with some users under people's posts. But it ends there. And I just wish I could take it outside the 4 walls of Arewaup forum and continue.

Aslm Alkum, I hope all is well with uh? so am gonna ask ne pls. Ni am kinda person wnda idan ina dating lady I don't usually calls sai chat, amma if we missed each other like 2 to 3 days haka xamuyi v call mudade muna waya. And also indai chat ne pha sai dai idan dayanmu baya online but indai we are all online chatting kam ba marasa mai zamuce. so my question is, is there anyone that act like I do??

slm, everyone hope y'all are having a wonderful time. the main reason I'm writing this post is to share my testimony. once upon a time I met a very kind lady, which we dated for 1 year +. to an extent one very good day I brought out a ring and give it out to her and told her this is a sign of promise from me to her, and I told her I will come back for the ring if she show me the ring, I will fulfill my promise to her. unfortunately 2020💔 we came back to Nigeria, I went to my state kaduna and she went back to her own state Abuja, between few weeks she call me and told me 💔 she wants us to have a breakup💔 which before God and man, at that very point I don't know what breakup means till she explain it for me what it means. then I asked her what my offense that she went to breakup with me 💔, she replied nothing I just want breakup 💔, it was not easy for me because I've never been in love that long till I met her, time to time I do call her and beg if their is anyway she could accept me back, she will replied no she don't wanna talk about it but if Allah says she is my wife in future that's it. days came to passed, Allah hold me strong 🙏 I move on since she doesn't want us back 💔🚶, 3 years now her name is not out of my mouth, and I had 2 dreams 1 says the person I had promise fulfill. the second dream I went to her house they open gate for me to enter, I saw her upstairs looking at me. we are not dating now for 3 years, even last week that we had a phone call that last us from 8:03pm to 11:15pm... please and please what I'm asking now? what type of sign is that?? please I need answers from anyone god give chance to say something, thank you I will be in comment section and please do hide my i.d. bye...

Not long ago I post my issue on this platform but my brothers and sisters you know what wlhy I regret posting that issue da har yasa nayi deleting post din because most of the comments are not good at all dome even say a bad words which is insane please my dear brothers and sisters if you not that tiy aren't going to say something good pls don't day anything it's better to keep quit than to say some words may Allah Allah see us through all Amin

Some of our honorable teachers advised: If a woman wants a successful marriage; one based in piety and knowledge, and wants a peaceful home, there are a few important things to consider: • The husband’s preferences are very important. He has the greatest right over you, so consider your good treatment to him similar to treating the parent well. This does not mean that you should not want anything, but if you want peace in your home, and a content husband, consider his preferences and correct your intention. This is better than fighting him! • *DO NOT* say to your husband, “You don’t do/never did anything,” or the like. • Men generally like submissiveness over defiance. You may and should advise your husband with what is best. If he is smart, and it is better, he will listen, but try not to take the last word, or insist that he does it your way. If he does not, it does not mean that he does not listen to you. The man should be the leader, so let him be a man. Do not try to control him - if you want a peaceful home and relationship. • If you are a career woman, do not be aggressive with your husband, or any brother you’d hope to marry. Do not say, “I intimidate men.” Truly, most men are simply not attracted to the aggressiveness, no matter how beautiful you are. • Remember that the Religion has mentioned qualities that make a woman more or less desirable for marriage, like piety, beauty, knowledge, money, lineage, status, virginity, articulation, and lack of children. The Religion encourages the man to choose the *Religious one* over all, and choosing for looks, money or status will ruin him. But if the pious woman is also pretty, then it is recommended for him to marry her. Therefore, do not forget the importance of beauty to many or most men, even if you are already long married. Healthy diet and exercise are beneficial. • If you remarry, *DO NOT* prevent the father from taking his child. This is God’s Wisdom. It is better for your new marriage and husband, and better for your child and the child’s father, even if you don’t prefer it. - I ask Allaah to grant us piety, patience and wisdom and make us successful on Judgement Day. Aameen

I'm gonna speak for myself, I've got this challenge in approaching ladies. Like, a few weeks back I met this pretty cute lady at a bodega. And I found her really adorable. I wanted to get her contact but while trying to approach her I had second thoughts. I was like... "I don't think a lady this beautiful and classy is single" "She's most likely taken" "What if she snubs or she's rude" This has happened to me a couple of times and I dunno if I'm the only one experiencing this. Its a big challenge for me.

Yau shekara 3 kenan da barin Nigeria nazo Germany Masters kuma na fara aiki anan. Toh ina bukatar na auri mace mu zauna. Shine se wata Kanwar mama na tamin recommending din wata knwar mijinta. Mun fara soyayay tin kusan last year June. Muna yawan yin chat video da voice kuma ina ganin hoton ta amma iyaka face. Toh macen da zan aura ai ya kamata nasan shape dinta ko yamin ko? Se last week muna video call nace mata ta tashi tsaye ta haskon bayanta da camera naga shape dinta, back view. Se kawai naga tayi terminating call din. Tin sannan na dena jinta tayi blocking dina. Wai se taje tacewa antin nawa wai ni dan iska ne nace ta nunan nonon ta da kuma bayanta!😯 Wasu matan kam sun morewa sharri. Na rasa abin yi saboda kunya da takaici. In iskanci nake sha'awa duk ga mata nan inda nake, kuma inada ilimi da aiki ai se na gaji. Duk ga porn sites nan in ma wani abu nake son gani. So nake a mana aure nayi mata visa, flight ta tawo nan kasar mu zauna na wani lokaci, ai ya kamata nasan abinda zan kawo ko? In wace bazan samu gamsuwa da ita bane mene amfanin auren? Antin nawa tace zata mata magana mu dawo mu shrya, amma ni walh ta fita min a rai. Wannan ko anya macen aure ce? Don Allah ku bani shawara!

so I have a boyfriend that I love so much but the problem now is that this guy doesn't give me is time or attention again at all like before or if I call him he won't pick my calls or if I message him it's the same thing. so one of friends posted our pictures together on his status that he knows that guy but the girl in the picture is the girlfriend of that guy so my friend came and tell me that I wasn't happy about it .that is the main reason why I don't like posting him or my friends should post us together . so because of our communication is very poor not like before the way we use to be so I thought break up should be the best thing for us since maybe he doesn't like me like before or he likes the other girl . I dont want to disturb myself on him because it usually hurt my feelings because I will see him online and he will never talk to me but if I tell him that I saw him online he will deny it .and sometimes he claims that his battery are low .it's really painful and hurtful should I just leave him alone and move on with my life

You are overthinking again. Breath… It’s going to be okay, You will figure it out and even if you don’t figure it out, that’s still okay.

Wai Meyasa ba'a siyar da tsire Sai dare yayi 🤔🙄🚶

Dan uwa mai neman macen da zata soka tsakanin ta da Allah ba dan abin duniya. Ga shawara zan baka. Akwai da yawa daga cikin yan uwa, dangi, abokan arziki ,makabta, da suke so su hada ka da wata ta jikin su, amma kana tunanin saboda abin hannun ka matan zasu yarda ba wai dan so na tsakani da Allah ba. Amma kai kafi son ka sami wacce bata san ko kai wanene ba wacce zata maka so na gaskiya. Mallam karya ne;hakan da kyar ya yiwu. Idan kaje wa macen zamanin nan a matsayin mara arziki Wallahi 99% zasu rabu dakai, saboda kowacce gidan hutu take nema. Ka rufa kanka asiri ka zabi mai hankali da natsuwa wacce akasan halinta na gaskiya. Idan kuwa ka ki, zaka zabo kura da fatar akuya. Yawanci matan yanzu babu soyayya ko Allah a ransu. Kudi kawai ne maganin su. Ku diba kugani. Idan latecomer ya aure maka budurwar da kuka dade kuna soyayya; sai ace ai addu'ar ta ne da take na Allah Ya zaba mata mafi alkhairi ne Allah Ya amsa. Ammafa idan kaine ka rabu da ita ka auri wata sai ace yaudara kayi. Irin shara'ar son zuciyar da sukeyi kenan. Mallam idan kanada kudin ka , kazaba , ka darje kafin ka aura. Kuma ka ja layi bayan aure. Dan kudinka aka aureki. Idan kuma kai talakane sai kajira "zabin Allah". Dan haka suke cewa " zabin Allah" amma Wallahi munafunci ne da karya, domin babu Allah a lamarin matan zamani. Mallam idan zaka iya, kayi hakuri ka tara kudi kafin ka soma neman macen aure.

Look at your girl. You see how good she looks? You see all the awesome qualities she's got? Now imagine another guy enjoying her and you not meaning shit to her anymore. Exactly why you should get your act together and give no room for f#ck ups. Life is too short and you can't have opportunities pass by you because really good relationships are hard to come by. Did you know that if you're preoccupied with the wrong people, the good ones out there are just passing you by and could actually be the relationship that is meant to be.

please what makes a girl private part to be smelling???Any gynecologist in the house???and what are the things she should do to stop that odor

Wata bakuwar budurwa mukayi a gidan neighbor dinmu kawai yau wani yaxo ya aika Wai akirata tana fito ta kalle shi sama da kasa tace waya aikoka 🙄🙄 malaminka kawai yakasa magana gsky nagi mai ba Dadi ya gama Tara courage yaxo wurinta Amma tana tambayanshi waya aiko shi kujimin wannan yarinya

Avoid marriage when you are still pressing *606# before you make call MTN no dey borrow pampass.

Innah-lilahi waina iilah rajuuan😭😭 Yau mun tashi da iftalai gidan mu yayi gobara Allah ya mayar mana da alkairy🤲👏