Ever since i was little i have always been shy, i get anxious when i am around people and i find it hard to make friends even when i do we tend to part a few weeks later. I attended 3 different secondary boarding schools with hopes of changing the story but i end up with the same results. When i was in Jss3 i discovered m@sturbating and it helped me a lot. I stopped bothering if i had friends or not as i was satisfying myself. I was really tall for my age back then and i stood out amongst my peers. Then i had a growth spurt and i gained 5 inches within a year and people started seeing me as someone older than his age. I started getting advances from women way older than me but i wasn't interested as i unfortunately got addicted to m@sturbation. Now I've gotten all i've always wanted but i kept pushing people away. I graduated from Uni in October 2020 and between then and now i have been in 5 different relationships and i was the cause of the failures i didn't cheat but i didn't care about my partners' feelings as i almsot immediately didn't see the need for intimacy immediately we start dating because of my addiction to m@sturbating. I made a commitment to stop masturbating on September 15th and this past one month has been hard, the addiction and urge are starting to fade. But i still find it hard to feel anything for anyone, i've done researches on how to make whoever i fall in love with happy also how to connect but nothing positive has come out of it, instead i keep fantasising on how I'll treat my princess right even when i know i am emotionally unavailable. Are there any off the book tips i can get from my brothers and sisters on this platform. I plan to be a husband and father in next couple of years but i am scared i will become a terrible one. I don't want take an innocent woman from her parents and then treat her in an inhumane manner. Assalamualaikum Wa Rahmatullahi Wa Barakatuhu. ❤️

as salam alaikum. I want to address something here, why is it that someone will send a request to someone and the person will take weeks b4 accepting it or rejecting it honestly wlh is annoying. I sent a request to a guy 4days ago and he immediately accepted so I sent him "as salam alaikum " immediately but till date no reply which is annoying wlh. and I also send a request to some this last month and it's still pending. pls arewamatchmake pls address this issue saboda ba dadi 😡

Assalamu alaikum. I don't know how to begin ma. Well, I've come across several posts where people talk about HIV/AIDS positive people or they themselves are carriers of the disease and the comments that follow are very unpleasant, not all though but majority. there's this notion that most people have, and the notion is that anyone with the disease got it through indulging in immoral acts. whereas it is not always true. some got it at saloons koh wurin masu yankan farce, some right from birth, some were victims of wickedness, some were infected and they don't even know how or when they got infected. some were transfused with the blood of a carrier. all these mentioned could be intentional or not. I myself am a carrier. we discovered I had it during my junior secondary days kuma none of my family members has it kuma mun fi ashirin a gidan mu. though a lokacin bamu kai yawan haka ba. we didn't know how I got it but then I suspected it was from a barbing saloon but my parents believe it was when I had blood transfusion while I was still in primary school (Wallahu a'lam). Wanda ma yayi min donating jini a lokacin ya zo ya rasu before we discovered I had it. I never want to say or think he was a carrier cos he saved my life when I needed it kuma malamin mu ne a islamiyya kuma daya daga cikin aminan baba na ne a lokacin har Allah ya karbi rayuwar sa and above all kuma bamu da tabbacin haka but Allah knows best. tun a lokacin da Dr. din yayi informing din mu hankalin mahaifiya ta ya tashi ta fara kuka Dr. din yayi ta bata hakuri yana ƙoƙarin kwantar mata da hankali ni kuma ko a jiki na. har Dr. din yake fada ma mama na duba da yadda ko reacting ban yi ba ba lallai ne na san abin ma da ke faruwa a lokacin in jin shi. Ni kuma duk na san ko meye ke wakana, na san abin da aka ce ina da shi but it never distributed me as I believed it was a test from Allah and qaddara ta ce, there's no way I could have escaped it. kuma a haka nayi ta rayuwa na with that in mind and I also believed (still do) that duk ciwon da Allah ya saukar akwai maganin shi kuma zan warke da izinin sa. Bayan nan akayi advicing din mu mu je inda ake ba masu irin ciwon magunguna. After the first set I was given I switched to what people refer to as Islamic medicine su habbatus-sawda, some mixture of honey garlic and other ingredients, some packaged traditional medicine from India and Egypt etc. and alhamdulillah, magungunan suka karbe ni. my viral load reduced from over 40,000 copies/ml to less than 400 or so copies/ml(can't recollect the exact figure) har aka ce mana my system is no longer threatened by the virus it can even fight off the virus on its own without medication. so we became laxed. I stopped taking my medication as at when due har virus din yayi growing resistance to the drug and re-multiplied. I had to change my therapy and also adopted the use of ARV drugs. now I'm still battling with it. A duk tsawon lokacin nan babu wanda ya san ina da shi. i have never in my life say this to any soul until now. a family din mu ma daga iyaye na sai my elder siblings ɗina 3 kuma su ma ba ni na faɗa musu ba. Yanzu ma da nake faɗa a nan it is because there's something bugging me and I want to find a way out. So all these years it never distributed me until now that I intend to get me a spouse I really want to have to choose a spouse from unlimited options but it seems that dream is near impossible. the way people discriminate, the way they see us carriers you'd think that Allah has never created any creature as disgusting as us. this limits my options to carriers only. it's not that I'm wicked or something that I want to spread the virus. hasali ma I've been taking measures to see that no one gets it from me. I have my own clippers, nail cutters, etc which I don't share with anyone. a haka ma wasu kallon marowaci suke yi min ko mai ƙyanƙyamin wasu, basu san ba haka bane 😅. Ciwon nan like any other sickness ana warke wa (I've herad stories kuma In-sha Allah one day it is my story that will be said). Kuma akwai cigaba a fannin kiwon lafiya da har kaga mace mai ciwon tana dauke da juna biyu ba tare da mijin da abin cikin ta sun dauki ciwon ba kuma ta haifa abin ta ta shayar dashi lafiyar sa lau. I have never for once dated koh irin da wasa haka ko irin soyayyar secondary school ɗin nan. I don't even have female friends. just a few acquaintances and those that are family. So now I really need to but I don't know how to go about it. I have seen girls I'm really into, I still have crushes but when I remember my condition, I feel so much discouraged. Like how do I do it? should I let us get to know each other, fall in love then break the news? or after knowing each other then tell her before things get serious? I really don't know which is the better option. I know some might say why not na je inda ake karban magani zan iya samu a wajen. Gaskiyar magana ban taɓa ganin masu ciwon inda nake karban magani ba. except for once da na je na samu wata mata da mijin ta su ma sun zo karban magani. kuma sun kai over 50 years, ita matar ke da shi. It's like the place I go have a timetable they follow to see their patients at different times a for confidentiality or something. Kuma suna da patients din sosai cos ina ganin files din mutane da yawa. and there's no way I could ask for other patients details. And you can't tell who's infected or not. duk da naji wasu suna cewa akwai wasu alamu da idan mutum na da shi toh yana da ciwon but the signs can be found on healthy people too. Damn! I said a lot. Please help a brother. What is the way out? p.s: fal yaqulu khairan au liyasmut. Akwai hisabi.

Dear Arewa up, Please in your next update I suggest it should allow users to be able to add more than one category when posting in the forum. Like one could need an advice concerning their relationship. So they can choose 'advice' and 'relationship' as the categories. Thank you.

My husband to be has changed drastically, ive known him for 12years now and it seems halinshi baya canzawa.... we parted three times in these years and finally wai hes back for marriage and gaskiya ni deep down im scared of aurenshi.... hes these kind of men that are jealous and bitter kan ci gaban rayuwan mace, he wants to always be at the top, ga boye boye, ko abu ya ajiye wallahi sai ya rufe da kaya, idan yana magana kikazo gefenshi sai ya ajiye, baya magana ta normal call sai whatsaap and other social media channels, baya chat baya video call baya duk wani abu da saurayi da budurwa sukeyi.... idan yazo wurina hira se yace min yanada meeting.... kullum cikin sauri da nuna yanada abun yi... to the extent that ive started questioning myself whether im boring or he has started loosing interest... to cut the story short yanzu haka yayi bugging line dina yanajin abunda nake discussing with other people and he reacts to discussions din🥲..... Idan yayi tafiya se yayi 5days be kirani ba,kuma babu text ba call nothinggg like i said earlier.... PLEASE ADVICE ME ON WHAT TO DO... aurenmu is soon....

as salam alaikum. pls I want you guys advice I met this guy on arewamatchmaking we started chatting and talking on phone 📱 it was really good, so we met one day and kuma yayi min sosai shima yace nayi masa. so bayan yan kwanaki Sai yake ce min Wai ai ance Wai Sai dai ya auri yar dangin su ba bare ba Wai ba'a san hali na ba, I was so sad 😭 har kuka nayi sosai wlh yace min shi yana sona sosai da sosai. Sai yace xai cigaba da musu magana koh xasu chanxa ra'ayin su tom har yanxu muna soyyayya Amman iyayen sa basu yarda ba har yanxu. Tom pls in cigaba da kula shi koh kuwa kawaii in hakura?

Honestly I think there’s one thing that’s is very Alarming and i feel no one is talking about it the rate at which lady think getting married is the only source of HAPPINESS or being in a SERIOUS RELATIONSHIP, I just don’t know why we have that mentality like why????? What about making that money? What about being HAPPY? What about learning a new skill, doing that business you’ve always dreamed of doing? Why can’t we see the other aspect of life that doesn’t involve being worried About marriage of relationships We're all are going to be Happy when the time is RIGHT. But before it’s comes please let’s be happy with other aspects of our LIFESTYLE.

I have a problem with my wife, 6 month Marriage but the Food is bad and always late. ni kuma that is one of the things that move me, ina so inga na tashi da safe an gama breakfast, when i am back in the afternonn i want to see delicious meals but instead wata rana ma se da in sha cornflakes in fita. I have talked over and over again but babu chanji maybe 1 - 2 days and we are back to the past. This is someone i spent over 200k fees for her to learn dishes before our marriage expecting a Good cook but i am very disappointed. I am having second thoughts of marrying someone and because i cannot afford two wives, she may have to go b iut don't want to be in the huddles of marriage again. Her work and schedule is not too demanding for her not to be doing these things that really matter. Every month i giver her 100k for shopping and everything but still, infact last kazar da tayi was not even soft da mutum ze ji dadi. I am just not satisfied at all in this aspect ni mutum me san abinci gaksiya. maybe registering in this matchmaking platform and making my demands clear and strict may help me get someone to my taste. I will still welcome your opinions or a better solution

i know that a relationship is a regular job where you have to exert some effort and put in your best to stay in it. but what happens if there is no communication? even if u try ur best to communicate, ur partner doesn't do so and u started losing interest in d relationship. advice pls

… Sadly, anything that bruises a woman’s ego is insensitive to her, be it the truth or nay* *She never expected her sexual prowess to be downplayed by a man. She’s angry cos he’s not about her and she never listened to understand a single word from him, rather she only heard what she wanted to and gave an outburst* *In summary, He wants commitment, she wants intimacy. That’s two different thing entirely*

Our house help always greets me with a smile, haka idan na fita na dawo she always be like "sannu da zuwa" which i find it very strange, she offers to come and clean my room. irin dai behaviour din is very odd like i am sensing something. I don't know if its coincidence or my thoughts but like she likes to be showing me her body with style. Last da tazo gyara min daki her shirt was revealing but usually dama bata wani covering sosai. Anyway i don't know what it means dai just a bit confused bansan ko it can be normal ba ko kuma wani abu take nufi, what do you guys think? because i am thinking of something

I'm always having a failed relationship just after one month of the great relationship,the vibes and everything start dying.....and I noticed that ones I stop putting effort,it dies.....the most painful part now is that the ones I am meeting now always want to sleep with me....the ones I love sincerely will always leave me cos I have health issues. my 25th birthday was 3days ago and I don't even have a friend or any one in my life and I feel bad and lonely and I also feel no one likes me and i' m not worthy of love.

I don't know if this is a question or a rant but once you get into relationships, women get so emotional and start expecting somethings and i am not naturally like that. I started dating this girl 2 month back and i just could not cope. If i tell her i am travelling she will call me like 4 times at different internals asking me i have eaten ( i really don't want anyone to ask me if i have eaten ) really and some other too emotional and cringing questions. I don't really like it and also they expect you to call everyday, like why? I am not an emotional person and i don't just like these behavior of constantly talking or asking some emotional questions or telling someone "I love you" i really can't I am a type of person that like to discuss serious or intellectual things and if something is necessary i will do it, lastly i told her i can't cope with that. can't you have a relationship with someone where you just support each other genuinely without too much emotions beings exchanged.

so there's a guy I met recently on social media, we've been cordial for about 3 months as friends. and we met for the first time few days back at a park. he was very sweet, paid for the bills and even drove me back home. he calls almost everyday especially in the morning to hear my voice. he hasn't said anything romantic and I don't want to say anything first so as not to sound desperate but I like him. what do you suggest I do? do I just wait till he makes the first move?

assalamualaikum, I want to voice out something and this goes to the IG guys infact all social media guys, Men, boys, whatever 🙄lets use IG as an example. you chatted up a lady on IG you guys ar getting to know each other and you requested for her picture probly bcs she doesn't have a pic of her on her profile, and she sent it to you and u requested for another again and she sent maybe like 3/4 and you complimented her bla bla and next thing that comes out from your keyboard to my DM is "please send non filter" this word is really rude I don't know if that's how we all ladies see it. I mean why will I send you a picture and probly it's non filtered sef just natural picture with no heavy makeup or snap filter and u be like pls send a non filter is it every lady that uses Snapchat even if I use it ik I won't send a picture with a filter since ik how filter can change looks....I don't know if you guys get what am trying to say, so pls IG guys watch your words.

I want to just point out to some ladies out there that some of us intentionally have very simple and humble bios so as to attract the right partner . we prefer to get to know you first before we even tell you where we work and all that . I can only imagine how many girls have lost out on great guys because they weren't okay with their profile details .

After getting a request... Ideally who is suppose to say hi /hello/slm first? The person who requested or the one who accepted....

Excuse my language but in don't know where else to ask because i am shy and i seriously need advise. my husband of 4 years suddenly one night during our marital affairs said I have to suck his ****, I told him gaskiya i can't shikenan fa he became angry the next morning i asked him why is he still angry and tried to resolve it with him and he told me "idan bazakiyi akwai wadda zatayi min ai". yanzu hankali na a tashe yake because idan ya fita i am getting serious anxiety on what he may be doing outside and he has been unfriendly since then. this happened 4 days ago. it is affecting my mental health please i need advice,

wai please how do people get to have so much friends abin na bani mamaki I literally don't have any friend to call mine and I promise u I am not a bad person Amma inayin kawa yau toh bamu a month plus shiknn se kuma muzama status viewers din juna abun yana ci min tuwo a kwarya wlh I really want to have friends 😢

I grew up in a loving environment.my parent were the happiest couple you could ever ask for, dou they had their ups and downs but we never saw that. They could talk for hours in suka fara dariya hmm. Naturally I couldn't wait to grow up and find my jaan na sha duka sosai sabida magana na baya wuce in nayi aure, in nayi aure... I was so in love with love ga karatun story books so I really believed in fairly tales.but life happened, kowa da test dinta. I could remember when I was in level 2,i was crying on my bed when my mum came in. Tana tambaya why was I crying... Nace ina level 2 amma ba wanda ya taba cewa yana sona. I could see the pain in her eyes but she hides it and said mu ta addu'a InshaAllah Allah zai kawo miki miji nagari. Har Naji kunya... Miji did not come oo...then I began doubting myself. My self esteem was at the lowest low. Maybe am not good enough i often say. Along the line I had my first bf. It didn't work out because I had high expectations from a relationship.I know how a guy should truly love his lady. Then came rooniey, my prince charming, he was so straight forward, he communicates well, he made me feel so loved I was like finally I have found my prince charming... A month to our wedding we discovered we were both AS.... I was heartbroken wallah I cried for a whole month. Alhamdulillah I have my business it kept me going.... Sometimes I wonder if I will find my true love... Or I will just settle with Mr available. Who wants to build a happy and loving home.. But due to my life experiences you have to be patient with me, be able to strike a conversation...life has made me so quiet... I need that reassurance And yes you should be tall because am a shorty....😉