Anonymous
Mar 29, 03:47 AM
Was i wrong for not telling him the truth about my past? I feel guilty
1
There is this guy, we have been dating for like 1 month now.
I love him so much, I love him more than myself.
I mean he is pure, calm, religious, very prayerful, he's strict, overprotective and nice.
I have always wanted someone that's best in the seen because I need them to put me in the right path.
The kind of love that I have for him have reached to an extent that I do not want to meet him at all because I can't control my feelings.
I am keeping my distance, I prayed Salatul Istikhara many times on him and I feel his the one.
but guys there is a problem.
everyone has a past. but why does it look like mine is hunting me down and it's making ne look as if I am not good.
I have repented long before now wallahi.
I swear with Allah and this pure month I ended my illicit relationship for long and I have been repenting little by little.
But then, yesterday we were chatting with my fiance and then he asked this very disturbing question.
He said, out of the blue, not expecting such.
Are you a virgin...........
I couldn't say or do anything, I stared at that question for more than an hour.
Do you know what, I don't know if I should say No I am not, I am so sorry I have changed and repented please forgive me I love you.
or I should say yes I am.
Guess what I told him.
I said YES I am. but then I do not know if he believed me or not, I asked him why he asked me such question.
he said because he hold me in high esteem and he really want to get married to me so he is getting to know me. and for him it's very relevant he asked and know.
Allah I felt crushed after he said all these. I cried for hours, my heart was bitter, I felt like I am deceiving my baby, if only he will trust me or really forgive me after telling him wallahi I would.
At that moment in time I felt like I was a bad person and he don't deserve me, I felt that he deserve better and not me.
I really love this guy and I am afraid that even if we get married I might loose him, because he will find out on our first night and that is gonna be disaster.
My Worst and Ugly past is hunting me down
please guys don't judge me, I have sincerely repented and I need help.
