I am confused about my life
Anonymous Mar 1, 11:44 PM

I am confused about my life 1

I am a young person of 28yrs that has been blessed with what i have always wanted at my age, a comfortable life. Alhamdulillah i have everything more than what an average 28 yr old has. i have 3 houses in Abuja, lagos and kaduna with a very good stable income however i have started a life i don't like and i want to stop. about two years ago i found out the girl i loved and wanted to marry was only after my money i spent more than 7million on her within just 1 year and i was very heartbroken after that that i decided not to trust any woman again i don't wish the feeling of heartbreak on anyone its horrible it affected me badly this was someone i dreamt we'd have life together but she was just after my money i ended the relationship and moved on. i started having lots of girls around me and sleeping with them, i can't count the number of girls i have slept with including the daughter of a known politician, whenever i travel i most of the time have a girl in my house which i'm not married to but lately i feel bad because after Allah has blessed me and given me a lot this is not a way to live my life in his disobedience. I feel like a horrible person i want to stop but i'm so used to the lifestyle and changing would be difficult because i'm not planning to get married my experience with women have thought me to just use them and move on. I need to get rid of my sexual desires in order to stop this haram lifestyle it may sound like a crazy idea but i was just wondering if anyone can offer me some advice or suggestion and I needed somewhere to let my worries out


Nyla Aliyu Jun 20, 03:36 PM
May Allah make it easy for you
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Nyla Aliyu Jun 20, 03:36 PM
May Allah make it easy for you
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Anonymous #1 Mar 4, 12:40 PM
Dear, I just want you to know that it is impossible to get rid of your sexual urge. If you want to undergo an operation, fine but let me assure you it will ruin your future so my advice is not to get rid of it. You might not need it now but later on if you get rid of it and get married how do you expect to satisfy your wife? Getting rid of it is not an option just learn to leave with it. It will get better if you pray and learn to accept that part of yourself you hate. Don't get rid of it, just accept it
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Nabilah Mar 3, 12:43 AM
I understand how you are feeling but remember not all girls have the same intention but you should never give up InshaAllah everything will be alright just keep praying and don't forget to istighfar as much as you can ... Please please I'm willing to help for the sake of Allah with the little i know even though you said you won't be able to contact someone personally but at least talking to someone will help too if you feel like talking you can email me via loveleeyn23@gmail.com
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Anonymous #1 Mar 2, 04:46 PM
dear poster I know and understand what you are feeling right now and I can assure you yours is just the feeling of betrayal from someone you love and trust. Let me tell you something I was sexually involved since from the age of thirteen. I was in boarding school at that time and I didn't know right and wrong. But with a few guidance I have learned to opress my urges and now allahamdulillah more than half of it is gone. If you wish to have that help kindly comment under my comment. Mind you it is like a therapy. I will be waiting. I hope the best for you and always pray please.
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Jidderth Mar 2, 04:05 PM
Dear poster everything happens to our life’s is a destiny whatever u seen in your life is written jst accept it and say Allhmdulillah and don’t allow it to ruin ur life try to overcome it , Wlhy Wlhy am ready to help with gud intentions Insha Allah if you truly believe in Allah dis is nothing u will stopped many pipu undergoes and now itz part of their history and I believe you too , will stop it if u careful follow d rules Insha Allah I am ready to help to recovery from dis sexual desire by sake of Allah am a medical practitioner also a guider counselor kindle reach me through dis no 08104360499🙏
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Khadija saidu sabo Mar 2, 02:42 PM
Regarding your previous experience with girls and the trust issue like someone just advised you here keep on praying and fasting and try as much as possible to avoid people who lead you to the life you want to fight and I guess you can disguise yourself if you want true love as in disguise in the sense that no one will know you or what you have and then pray for the best. And mind you not all girls are thesame there are still the loyal ones and try as much as possible to binned your previous experience.May Allah make it easy on Us all.
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Anonymous Mar 2, 02:11 PM
Yes I know marriage is the normal solution people use but i have trust issues with women and due to the type of person i am i don't believe i can find a genuine person. I have totally given up on true love within our people. I've had thoughts of leaving Nigeria and starting another life else where but not sure if that will be feasible because I have a lot of investments (worth millions) and connections here which i can't just can't relocate elsewhere. So getting rid of the desire is just the best thing i believe, if anyone with a medical background can enlighten me on it i'll appreciate
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Nabilah Mar 2, 01:44 PM
Dear poster the best way to get rid of your sexual desire is to get married if able, getting married can provide a long term sustainable help, choose carefully who you will marry because this is the most important decision you can make in your entire life, you can add fasting as a way to weaken your desire too.. curb your desire by always doing istighfar as much as you can pray on time and remember to always recite the Quran..
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Anonymous Mar 2, 01:36 PM
Thank you for all the suggestions and advices i have noted them. I may not be able to contact anyone personally because I want my identity completely anonymous but i appreciate what you have shared. I am fully committed to change the only problem is how to get rid of my sexual desires because that's the only challenge i will face i'm 28 at the moment and don't know until when i can hold on to fighting my temptations so its better i get rid of them. i will not feel comfortable asking people around me about this that's why i'm here. does anyone have an idea if its possible to get rid of sexual desires even if it involves an operation i won't mind paying no matter the price please. once i am able to do this i am rest assured of a clean life and not going back to that haram lifestyle. Every other part of my life is okay Alhamdulillah its just my desire for women thats the problem and getting rid of is my wish. I can't keep living like this without marriage while having desires I am afraid one day i may still commit zina again and i don't want to. Thank you.
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Anonymous #2 Mar 2, 07:50 AM
Dear poster!!! Most times when things don't work our way, its mostly because Allah knows they are not best for us....imagine if u got to know she was interested in ur money after you've married her, it would have been more disastrous... My advice here is don't use one woman to judge all women, there are a lot of ladies out there that are real.... I personally, don't blame u for the change of lifestyle u went thru, every individual has his way of responding to problems but just know that life is life and it'll keep on throwing problems at u in different ways and when u just get angry and fire back in anyway you can then you've defeated your purpose as a good human and as a Muslim...my advice is whenever you are faced with a terrible problem, first remember that there is God and God tests his beloved of servants and that God will never test you with wat you cannot endure, so don't get angry or even sad, try to accept that everything you see happening to you is for your own good in one way or the other...because I assume you always pray for the best and the best can come in many ways.... It is good that you want to change you current lifestyle and I'd like you to know that you don't need to get rid of your desires to achieve that, you've already started by not liking it, you've done the hardest part, now all you have to do is devote more of your time to praying even at night, fasting(not only Mondays and Thursdays only), adhkaar and sadaqah....try to avoid anything that you know will make u want haram relationships, become conscious of yourself and wat you do, develop a voice in ur head that will check and balance everything you do(as in build a character in ur head, mold it in form of a critic, give it a name and assume you seek for its advice before you decide on wat to do.....kinda crazy yah!!! But it works)...don't let wat happened or wat you've done in the past haunt you, the past is the past and you are over it, you face the future and try to build a better life... Finally, I'm so sorry that you had to go thru all that you've been thru and I pray you find love for real so you can settle down, have a family and be happy....
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Laylah barkindo Mar 2, 01:44 AM
I forgot to include dis DM me I have more things to send to u 09136235660. Allah ya shiryemu baki daya
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Laylah barkindo Mar 2, 01:19 AM
subhannallah dear poster you have seek for your Lords forgiveness before you go and meet him ... * start Monday and Thursdays fasting or u can even add more because fasting stops you from doing soo many thing that are haram . * make istiqfar your food ,always say subhannallah,walhamdulillah ,wa lailahaillallah & wallahu Akbar * say lailahailla anta subahanaka inni kuntu minazzalimin like 40 times or more in a day . * if your heart start pushing you to do something that is haram say Auzubillahi minashaidanirrajin and carry your Qur'an and recite . make sure u recite the Qur'an every day . * while going to bed say Alhamdulillah 33 , Allahu Akbar 33 then beg your lord what so ever u want . dear poster try and do all this wallahi you will see change 100% . please read the below 5 steps.. 1. To be sincere to Allah Sincerity is a precondition that must be observed in every act of worship. Allah Almighty says what may mean, {Though they were not commanded but to worship One God- making the practice of their religion pure and sincere to Him alone }. (Al-Bayyinah 98: 5) 2. To regret one’s past evil deeds This means that one should be ashamed of oneself before Allah as one has committed what he was forbidden to and has neglected what he was ordered to observe. 3. To give up sinning If the sin involves a religious duty that has been neglected such as performing the salah or paying off the zakah , this should be corrected at once. But, if the sin involves a human’s right, it requires absolving oneself of such right. If it is a property, one should return it to its rightful owner; and, if it is an act of slander or backbiting, one should seek the offended person’s pardon. 4. To make a firm resolve of avoiding such sins in the future This is mandatory as if one intends to return to the sins he used to commit after showing repentance whenever it is possible, he will not be considered as faithful or true in his repentance. However, if one truly decides to repent but was later on overcome by his own weaknesses – as was explained earlier – his repentance will not be nullified. However, he should renew his repentance; thus, showing new repentance for the recent evil doing. 5. To show repentance while it is still valid Showing repentance is always valid save in two cases: a) At the time of death, one’s repentance becomes of no avail. Allah says what may mean, {But there is no repentance for those who continue to do great sins- until, when death approaches one of them, he says: I do, indeed, repent now! Nor is there repentance for those who die while they are disbelievers. For such as these, We have made ready a most painful torment.} (An-Nisa’ 4: 18) The case of Pharaoh is very clear in this regard as when death approached him while in the middle of the sea he said, {I believe that there is no God but the One in whom the Children of Israel have believed.} (Yunus 10: 90) However, he was then answered, {Now you believe, while before you have truly disobeyed your Lord, and you were ever of those who sowed corruption?} (Yunus 10: 91) Certainly, Pharaoh’s last minute belief could not avail him in any way. b) When the sun rises from the West, repentance becomes invalid and is never accepted by Allah. On that very day, all human beings will declare their faith in Allah, the Creator. However, their sudden belief will not benefit them as they have never believed in Him before. Allah says in the Ever-Glorious Quran what may mean, {On a Day when some of the awesome signs of your Lord shall come at the end of time, sudden belief will not benefit a soul that has not believed before, nor a soul that has not earned any good from its belief .} (Al-An`am 6: 158) Narrated Abu Hurairah: Allah’s Apostle said, “The Hour will not be established until the sun rises from the West: and when the people see it, then whoever on the surface of the earth will have faith, and that is (the time) when belief will be of no benefit to a soul that believed not before. ” (Al-Bukhari) These were the conditions for repentance to be valid and accepted by Allah the Almighty.
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Anonymous #3 Mar 2, 12:21 AM
Alot of us went through worse heartbreaks than yours, cheating, betrayal, lies and many more and yet still they give love another chance. Your actions towards other ladies have proven that perhaps youve forgotten that everything that happens to every human being is a test from Allah. I agree you were hurt, your heart was broken but your actions were terribly wrong, terribly. The positive thing about this is you've realised your mistake and you're ready to make it right and Alhamdulillah for that. I would like to talk to you directly if you dont mind and not to reprimand you but to advice and help you. You can reach me on my line 08148303329, looking forward to hearing from you.
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