I need your opinion and advice on a situationship
Relationship
Anonymous Nov 6, 11:17 PM

I need your opinion and advice on a situationship 0

so there's this guy that I knew some years back and eventually our path crossed and we immediately clicked, months into the relationship he proposed marriage to me and also sent his parents to mine and I was just starting University then. so my people didn't accept the proposal because of reasons like he comes from a very large family and all so they fear for me, but we kept on talking dai and along the line we started having a lot of issues here and there which eventually led to our breakup. our parts crossed again after some years and unfortunately ba wani rabuwan mutunci akayi ba gaskiya but we let bygones be bygones and we were communicating once in a while and during that time he told me that he still wants to marry me and honestly I also still like the guy but here is the problem. nidai according to what i know and see, he is a good guy and he is also religious and again family'n shi really showed me love when we were together sosai, even his step mums muna waya kawai dai kunsan dan Adam can't be 100%. so yanzun what I am concerned about is should I leave this guy because my people don't really want me with him or should i let him to send his people again and try to convince them this time around. I have done istikhara for some time but i am still having mixed feelings. I have also tried talking to other people but I keep on comparing them with him cause gaskiya he is better than like 90% of men that i have actually had a thing for after our relationship. please do advise me and sorry for the long surutu.
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Replies

(19)

Jibril saeed Nov 7, 05:53 AM
keep praying
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Anonymous #1 Nov 7, 09:13 AM
Bygones are not always bygones even if you let them to be, they may not , he might be better than all the men you have been in relationship with, but he is definitely not better than all the single men out there. Keep working on yourself, be open minded and optimistic, continue to pray and don't open doors that can clearly invite trouble to you. There is a clear tendency of things not turning out well, why do you want to be selfish and be blinded by love, my opinion is you should not have rekindle that love, but you did. So my suggestion is you need to put it out and be open and available to any good intending man, introduce families early in the relationship and then continue getting to know each other...if you're okay at the end fine, if you're not it doesn't do any harm to both families, but you can not discard the importance of both families acceptance and approval. It's just my opinion
reply 1
Anonymous #1 Nov 7, 12:04 PM
I like to be softly brutal when giving advise, I will advise that you should understand crossing of path does not mean anything and do not signify anything special. It's very normal that you will see acquaintances from the past, you will recognise them, you will remember them and often times you will reminisce about those moments you spent together. However, it does not mean you get lost in it and get lost in it to the extent of wanting to live it again. Be strong and positive to look into the future with full hope that Allah knows best and will give you better than what he has given you in the past as long as you asked for it. Whatever you decide, take it with full faith and do not worry about the outcome.
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Anonymous Nov 7, 12:22 PM

I totally understand, I will keep on trying and praying but it is really difficult, whenever I feel like I have gotten over him sometimes the feeling just pops up. this has been going on for about 6 months and i don't even know what to do anymore. but Allah knows best
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Anonymous Nov 7, 03:32 PM

This question actually hit hard🥺, i probably wouldn't have looked his way and it will have been easier to move on ai
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Anonymous #1 Nov 7, 06:49 PM

I hope so too, but the point I'm trying to make is "Self-discipline". Regardless of how "your" heart feels about certain things you should be able to avoid it if it has tendency of not being good and/or healthy for you. You'll be happier and life will be easier In Sha Allah...I put "YOUR" in quotes to emphasize, it's yours, you own it and you are it's master, so you should be able to control not the other way around.
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Anonymous Nov 7, 07:07 PM

if only it is that easy and simple, I sometimes have thoughts like can't I be selfish this once and choose what my heart yearns for instead of what others think but then on another thought marrying this man that my heart desires might actually cause harm than good to me. I always pray to Allah to remove this man from my heart and mind and to also give me another man that is even better than him but he is still in there and i haven't met anyone that I can say is better than him. sha Alhamdulillah dai
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Haidar Ali Nov 7, 09:12 PM

Shi ne kawai. Cos this matter is somewhat complicated. There's no easy decision. So poster just keep praying to Allah to give you the best way out
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Haidar Ali Nov 7, 09:20 PM

It will be fine in the end. How about trusting fate? How about leaving things in the hands of your Lord? What's destined for you will never miss you. What's never yours will always elude you no matter how much you chase or want it. Perhaps if you condition your mind towards that, you may find peace in whatever outcome.
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Anonymous Nov 7, 09:56 PM

I am from Plateau
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Anonymous #1 Nov 8, 08:22 AM

The Home of Peace and Tourism, interesting! I'm sure the good single men out there that are ready to marry are on the watch.
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Nana Fatima ALIYU Nov 8, 12:50 PM
to me honestly don't give up keep praying &that istikhara kikarayi insha Allah if there is light depnetly you'll see it but u your feelings mixed again just let it go you'll find someone better insha Allah
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Abdulwaliyyu Nov 8, 11:42 PM
surutu kam it has been done... Anyways I'll advise you allow him send his ppl to see the reaction of your own people cus for your path to keep on crossing I believe it's destiny.
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