I like guys (i'm a guy) and I can't help it. Advice please
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Anonymous Nov 15, 12:20 AM

I like guys (i'm a guy) and I can't help it. Advice please 3

I have a big problem I've been battling with for a long time. I've never dated anyone before even during my university time, and all my life I have been so scared. I found out a long time ago that I'm more attracted to guys than girls. I come from a really poor family but Alhamdulillah I'm extremely good and focused academically and professionally. During my university time, I had no time for any romantic relationship. I had a few close female friends then but our friendship was strictly platonic. I graduated from university some years back and Alhamdulillah I now work in a place where many Nigerians, even children of elites, dream of working. All my life, I was so scared to do anything with a guy because of the gravity of the sin in Islam. But starting from last year, I've had sex with a couple guys - all of them foreigners - Arabs and white. I do feel remorseful after the act, but to be honest, I like it. My family's dream now is to see me get married and unfortunately I haven't found any lady I would love to marry yet. The problem is I don't even make any effort to find one. I will be moving to North America in a couple of months and I am so scared that I may become addicted to having gay sex given that over there, it's legal and there is no any existing threats, at least not like here. I'm just so confused. I have been trying to suppress the feelings but no success yet. Please I need your advice.
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Replies

(34)

Jibril saeed Nov 15, 01:49 AM
always remember that you'll be in the grave.
reply 2
Reerah Nov 15, 05:19 AM
Inallilahi wa Inallilahir rajiun 💔 I can’t really judge you cause everyone have their type of sins but please 🙏 pray to Allah that’s the only solution no advice can change you only if you choose to change yourself and always believe that kullu nafsin zaikatul maut đŸ„șMay Allah ease ur affairs
reply 3
Fatima Alfa Nov 15, 05:27 AM
may Almighty Allah guide you to the right part,ameen pls be prayerfully listen to Islamic sermon.
reply 2
Fatima Aminu Adam Nov 15, 05:34 AM
may Allah guide you to the right part đŸ„č
reply 0
Fadeelarh Nov 15, 06:22 AM
Dear poster, No advice can change ur mindset, please take ur prayer more serious and I also feel u should have more of female friends around u. May Allah make it easy for us all.
reply 1
Zarah fateh Nov 15, 06:40 AM
innalillahi wa innailaihir rajiun 💔may Allah guide you to the right path.but rn I've got no advice to give ,but always remember this kulli nafsin zaikatil maut.
reply 0
Anonymous #1 Nov 15, 06:42 AM
Dear poster I'm not trying to jugde no I can't even if I want to because we are all sinners but one thing I have to tell you is to fear ALLAH, fear that one day you will stand in front of HIM to be judged for your deeds, would you be proud to stand in the presence of Allah swt with your deeds? Have mercy upon your innocent parents and your future generations.. pls abstain from this kind of act, return bak to ALLAHU swt and HE will accept you wholeheartedly before it will be too late remember the Angel of death is lurking around everyone of us.. Pls repent and change your ways so that you do not destroy the life of an innocent girl if at all you end up getting married
reply 2
Anonymous #2 Nov 15, 07:59 AM
Allah ya baka Mafita, amma kaji tsoron Allah, kana bukatar wa’azi na musamman da yawan karatun Alkur’ani.
reply 0
Ahmad Muhammad kamba Nov 15, 09:24 AM
kullu nafsin za'iqatul maut đŸ˜„
reply 0
Anonymous #3 Nov 15, 09:46 AM
am so speechless dm me, I can connect you with who can put you through you need an Islamic therapy and in just short time you will learn how to avoid it insha don’t be ashamed thy are alot of people like that alot some are deeply into it you really need an Islamic therapy to put you through
reply 7
Anonymous #4 Nov 15, 10:02 AM
Dear poster don’t hate yourself because of your act please but do go back to him coz he is gafurul Raheem,always engaged yourself into Islamic activities eg recitation of the qur’an,Jin wa’axi and please be prayerful Allah will heard you and he will wipe away your tears,and please anything that will take you to commit that sin avoid it,may Almighty Allah guide us through,ya Allah ya ubangiji ga bawanka nan kashiryeshi karabasa ikon daxe yaki wannan kaddara tasa ka kuma shiryasa,Wlh enah tausayin masu engaging kansu cikin wannan erin xunnu ban,dan Allah be prayerful😭🙏
reply 0
MssKulthoum Nov 15, 10:19 AM
dear poster first thing put in mind cewa ka daina kuma ka tuba kaji tsoron Allah ka tuna ranar mutuwa and also tell ur mum ta nema maka matar aure kana so kayi aure before kaje qasar kayi addu’a and focus on ur sallah Allah yasa a dace
reply 0
BabyG Nov 15, 11:21 AM
Innalillahi wa inna’ilaihirajiun! dear poster, I really feel ur pain, and nobody is in a position to judge you, kowa da irin laifin sa da qaddarar sa but pray, pray and pray, Fight the urge and feelings, it won’t be easy but you just have to considering the gravity of the sin. Allah shike iya shirya bawan sa a Duk sanda yaso but you have to make a big effort in changing, preferably start by not living in a place where it’s legal, kaje wajen da Kasan zai ma wahala kayi. may Allah ease ur affairs dear, try and get someone to settle down with, that will help too Insha Allah.
reply 0
Ummii Fatimah Nov 15, 06:50 PM
pray on time .if you do ,then check your prayers .did you pray accurately?.ask your mum to pray for you .if you really want to fight this Allah will see you through
reply 0
Anonymous #5 Nov 15, 07:20 PM
Dear poster! ba ruwan Allah da wani gay. Dooka zakasha a wajen walakiri in ka mutu. You better wakeup bro
reply 1
Zainabbiu Nov 16, 08:22 AM
Allah sarki Allah ya yaye Maka Kuma in shaa Allahu keep praying we too will help u with prayers in shaa Allahu Allah yasa mu dace
reply 0
Ize Nov 16, 08:44 AM
may Allah make it easy on you
reply 0
Chubby Nov 16, 09:08 AM
subhanallah follow me and chats me up I think I have someone that will discuss this kind of issue with you and you will feel better insha Allah
reply 0
Kubra Mundi Nov 16, 09:11 AM
Salams, Dear poster. Where you sexually abused as a child? sorry I asked but most people who go through this went through abuse. Hold your Salah close to your heart and also wake up at night to pray tahajud, pray for forgiveness and the strength. Allah knows you can handle this burden, that's why He has given you this test. If you have sabr, Allah will reward you immensely. Remember that this is a test from Allah and Allah does not burden a soul with what he cannot handle. Get married before you move abroad, when you are there, find the Muslim communities around you and engage yourself in the mosque, be a part of that community, those are the only people you should make friends with over there. Your company will help your mindset. Know that being gay isn't who you are, it's just in your mindset. Your true nature is how Allah has created you and what Allah has made lawful. Mindset can be changed always remember that. recite Qur'an and keep that holy book close to your heart. Remember this is a test from Allah and he will not burden you with what you cannot handle. salamualaikum
reply 4
Anonymous #6 Nov 16, 09:20 AM
Hello poster, let me come simple, I have seen different comment on this, if you see this it will make sense.I just smile reading all comments I have come across people with the same issue and more pressing and I particularly have helped them solve this problem and some are happily married. while some are at ease.it’s a simple thing only when you get exposed to the knowledge let’s find a way to communicate, and I assure you you will find peace and tranquillity. Now how do we communicate, reply if you have a means.. waiting for you
reply 0
RukayyaA2 Nov 16, 09:54 AM
Inna lillaahi wa inna ilaihi rajiun dear poster we all know that such things are difficult to overcome, especially when they relate to sex Therefore, Keep on trying and don't give up it's a gradual process. But believe that you can do it because others have done it and others have been able to survive without it so you too can do it. Normalize fasting Mondays and Thursdays, Tahajjud and reading Qur'an. and always remember that an hallakar da generation guda because of this May Allah guide us to the right path.... You can reach out to me at grukayya@gmail.com i have lots of words of encouragement.
reply 0
Rabi'ah Kay Nov 16, 10:09 AM
May Allah guide you to the right path. Sanan kasa a ranka kanaso ka chanja kayita addua and ka nesantar da kanka da duk abunda zaiyi tempting dinka. And also karkayi aure sai ka tabatarda deep down inside you ka chanja and u're willing to marry din if not zaka cutar da wanda zaka aura.
reply 0
Kubra Mundi Nov 16, 12:07 PM
Also I would like to recommend you talk to yaqeeninstitute.org they have alot of cases like yours and they have been able to help many. go to this website and also when you get to America, try to locate them. they can help you
reply 0
Yasmeen Nov 16, 09:06 PM
Innalillahi wa inna ilaihi rajiun! Allah ya shiga alamarin Ka poster.
reply 0
Feesah Nov 17, 12:54 AM
change your friends, adjust the contents you watch and the people you follow on social media, change your hobbies and how you spend your time, this new habits will work with a sincere prayer.
reply 0
Saniieam Nov 17, 07:16 AM
Try to engage yourself with religious activities and people. Try to always visit graveyards and hospitals and give lots of charities with intention of getting out of your situation. Always remember you're a servant of Allah and that you'll definitely meet with Allah in a time not known to you.
reply 0
Anonymous #7 Nov 17, 08:20 AM
It's painful to know what you are doing is wrong but you can't help it. my advice to you is to try and find something attractive in women that you like. Because you have had sex with guys, it will not be easy to start having feelings for women unless you explore what the entail from the inside. Find a pretty girl preferably virgin if not very tight lady, and try to have a good time with her. it will help you find pleasure in intercourse with women.
reply 0
Anonymous #6 Nov 17, 11:02 AM
Dear poster
. your problem is half solved
. I will expose you to A lot of knowledge, I studied things related to this and I have encountered several of people with the same issue.. just relax and say no more
E mail me
. manigaraji@gmail.com
.. let’s get it done
reply 0
Dutchess1 Nov 18, 03:46 AM
poster DM pls i wnt us to talk...thank you
reply 0
AmaalOluchi Nov 20, 04:00 PM
This is serious đŸ€”đŸ€” well no advice can change a thing, Just have to be prayerful
reply 0

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