It's said life begins at 40. Well I'm here and would well tell for myself soon enough. As I'm at this important milestone in human life, while I wait to see what God the Almighty has planned for me down the lane I can't help but reminisce and look back at the last 20 years of my life. They have been full of events and perhaps lessons that ultimately shaped who I have become later in life. I want to use this opportunity to tell younger persons here what I have learnt in my life's journey which I believe would be of help to some of you. I'm going to look back at my life in the last 2 decades or even beyond in areas of friendship, relationship, work, family and much more. FRIENDSHIP Now I firmly believe that you are who you befriend. When I stayed with good friends I did good things, when I stayed with bad friends I did bad things and also, when I stayed with hopeless friends I was almost also hopeless. My decisions and choices in life were invariably influenced by the friends I kept. As I stand today I realised there were a lot of friendships that I shouldn't have been into because they led me into doing things that have left almost permanent marks in my life up to today and there's really nothing I can do about it. At 20 I should have sat down to really map out my priorities much better based on a clear vision of who I wanted to become; I should have sat more with people of wisdom and those who were older than me and who were an image or example of who I really wanted to become later in life; I should have surrounded myself more with friends who were doing well to build their lives on purpose and determination. Along the way and almost at a point when no change would make any much impact I realised I should have done more of those things mentioned above because I now realised the little of such things that I did have produced massive positive results for me at a time when I need such positive results. Enjoying such bountiful rewards later in life makes me bite my fingers saying to myself I should have done much more of those things. Today, I'm comfortable with a good education and job alhamdulillah and also a reasonable life all of which I can now see how my past choices and people I associated with when I was younger have played pivotal roles in achieving them. Also, the things I couldn't achieve I realised were caused by some unwise choices which I should have done better on or leveraged on some people's experiences to achieve them. All in all, Allah's destiny on His servants is achieved through a cause and effect principle which underscores the importance of holding unto causes and means while firmly relying totally on Allah. In summary, make as much valuable friends as possible when you are young and associate with people who are way advanced than you are in order to learn and improve your life. Never settle with mediocre friends and people who do not add value to your life or challenge you. RELATIONSHIP Today I look back and often laugh and get surprised at how I wasted my time on pursuing some relationships that would result into nothing tangible, instead of focussing on building my future. I realised that the older I got and the more successful I became, I was able to get access to a class of relationship that I once hoped for but was unable to get due to my previous situation of lack of position, power or means. Gradually I saw how I can easily get that kind of lady that I once saw as a dream when I was younger and less privileged; I later understood how I was unable to get the attention I wanted from ladies back then. As I moved higher and grew older, I noticed how women would always prefer stability, maturity and comfort and how that influenced the partners they choose - only then did I understand how I wasted my time in trying to get what I was not yet ready for. In a nutshell, as a young man never waste your time on ladies, waste your time on building a successful life and later you can get the woman of your dream and you would be surprised how easy that would come by. FAMILY As a family man, with 4 beautiful kids I now fully understand the meaning of being a father. I now make more sense of the things that puzzled me about my late father; I now understand how the interaction between my father and mom ultimately influenced how I now treat my wife and kids. I enjoyed a peaceful home as a child and later in life I realised my top priority in a woman I wanted to marry was the one who was typically like my mom, and the kind of union I wanted to have was that kind between my mom and dad. What this means is parenting style and nature of relationship between parents have a direct effect on your life and choices. Since when I married and later became a father, I understood the true and actual meaning of sacrifice. Importantly, I learned how society and particularly friends could make you do things differently from how your parents brought you up. LIFE Looking back, I see how the totality of one's life is already preplanned by Allah the Almighty. I also see how Allah has put us fully in charge of our lives - we can be whatever we want to be provided we follow the right channels, do the needful, associate with and learn from the right people, and rely on accept Allah's final decision. I now know that separate from friends, parents, colleagues and other people, the one key and unique person that plays unmatched role in our lives is our spouse. I now firmly believe that our current and future physical, mental, emotional, economic and social statuses are made or marred by our spouse. Having the right spouse is the single most important thing in our lives after having the right parents, and of course Allah's guidance. One could be a loser all through their lives but later becomes a winner when they get the right spouse. On the contrary, one could build a successful life and later lose everything once they marry the wrong spouse. Today, I know that if I had married a certain kind of spouse my life wouldn't have been blissful as it is today, also I believe my life would have been better if I had married someone better than my current spouse. I realised that the coming of the right partner into my life has helped me sustain my gains and continue to grow in abundance. So that's it, if I should go back 20 years there are lots of things I would have done differently (more, or less, or even not at all) considering how I now witness each one of them has made me who I'm today. Alhamdulillah that Allah has allowed me have a life that I'm proud of with less regrets courtesy of His mercy. Looking at some people I grew up with or who are even friends I can see how differently we all are faring in life and a deeper look would reveal how the choices we made and the things we did in our individual youthful lives influenced and produced what and who we are today. SO MAKE THE BEST USE OF YOUR TIME BEFORE YOU HAVE NO CHANCE TO USE IT TO YOUR ADVANTAGE.