I NEED ADVICE ON MY RELATIONSHIP, SERIOUSLY.
Abbakac Jan 3, 02:13 PM

I NEED ADVICE ON MY RELATIONSHIP, SERIOUSLY. 1

Assalamu alaikum house. I have this girl that I am dating for almost 6 months now even though we've been friends for almost 4 years but recently decided to give a relationship a try because we understand each other very well. so, I trusted her so much that sometimes I even tell me friends about her and how much she loves me. One time a friend said to me " Bakasan Halin Mata ba, sun iya pretending" I thought about what he said but it didn't have much effect in convincing me to believe that because of how I trusted her and loved her. Then something occurred day before yesterday, on Sunday. It was around 11:30pm when we were chatting on WhatsApp, all of the sudden she wasn't responding then I decided to call her and tell her to come online, I then heard she was on another call. It really mad me sad to hear that around that time of the night because I love her so much and I am a jealous type. So, I turned on flight mode on my phone and went to sleep and woke up later at night to check my WhatsApp inbox. I did not see what I was expecting then I went back to sleep again and forgot about everything that occurred. Then in the morning, she sent me good morning message as usual and I went on with the flow. But because she was feeling guilty about it and she knows how jealous I can be on small things, she said my response seems to be a little bit off today, Monday. I told her I am good but she insisted and explained to me why I heard the Call Waiting last night. She even sent me some screenshots of her call log to show me who she was on call with, that it was her elder brother that spoke with her stepmom through her phone. I said okay and told her to just forget about it. She said so many things to calm me down, one of which is "Da ace inayin wannan wayan da tini ka kamani","Dan da zaka dinga kira kaji line busy", "Boyfriend nayi sai na fada maka. Koda a hanya ya ganni .Bana boye maka komai" It all passed after she said this and I believed her to her words and told her to always be truthful and honest with me, that is all I ask from her. She promised to keep that. Then at night on Monday, almost the same thing happened. She sent me message on WhatsApp and I didn't reply the same time as that of Sunday. I was taking my bath at the time and I didn't tell her that I will be right back. I came back after like 20minutes of not being active, she went offline. So, I decided to call her and ask her to come back online that I am back now. Then I heard the call waiting again. I hung up immediately and she called back, I picked up and told her to finish what she was doing and come online when she is done, she said she is done and I said okay then; lets not waste your airtime since we both have data. After she came online, she straight started with and apology; that she is sorry wallahi it is not what I think it is. I only asked her one question " are you still on call with your elder brother today?" she said "No, it was someone else". So, I said okay and refused to reply her. She called and I picked and I asked her if she was lying about what she told me in the afternoon about Trusting me and Telling me the whole truth. she couldn't answer because she was feeling guilty about it. She then tells me that it was her friend that gave her number to the guy some weeks back. I lost my mother 2 weeks ago, so it came to me that she might have had a space to invite someone because I was busy in a grieving moment the past week and I didn't give her much of my time. So, I sleep off on it and thought about it till the next morning, that's today Tuesday. Before I check my inbox, I decided to let everything go and forgive her because i thought who knows it might be me someday in that position and I would want her to forgive me. I opened my inbox and there was her apology message as expected or I should call it letter because I had to press the WhatsApp's "Read More" twice. My response was short and clear that "Sweetest babu komai ya rigada ya wuce. I understand dalilin da yasa maybe baki fada mun ba. Dan Adam ajizi ne, akwai mantuwa da dai sauran su Ki kwantar da hankalin ki, babu abunda zai chanza". After this, she showed concern that maybe I just said it because I am still angry or something. Then I added and said " Idan nace ya wuce shikenan. Idan kikaga na dawo da maganan nan sai dai a wasa ko kuma idan wani abu makamancin sa ya sake faruwa zai sa na tuno dashi". Just to give her assurance that it has passed. Back to the main reason I am posting this here. I need advice on how to go by this issue. I seems to me she is in the process of leaving me but I still love her. I'm not financially stable to rush and marry her at the moment. Should I continue with the relationship or I should break up with her before she does to avoid getting heart broken.
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Replies

(6)
Ameeerah21 Jan 3, 02:21 PM
Allah jikan t. Kayi t addua idn alkhairi ce sannan kar kace kuyi breakup kawai k fita har karta n kwana biyu kila t dawo. Sannan idn matsalar take ita macce idn k nuna mata so wuce wuri take sbd tana ganin komai tana iyayi sbd kaunar d kke nuna mata. Allah shi kyauta
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Yazeed Jan 3, 02:30 PM
Am sorry for ur lost may jannatul firdaus be her final home atleast continue with the relationship but knowing that anything can happen, give her a little gap and keep on praying bcos when u love someone and that person live u unexpected bro it hot alot but calm ur self insha Allahu every thing will be fine
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Zuwaira Yusuf Jan 3, 07:18 PM
May her soul rest in peace🙏 and for your girlfriend give her space brother, as you said you both have been friends before you began dating so she just needs space. your absence in her life a lot so give her space and you will see the first person to look for you will be her.
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Haidar Ali Jan 3, 07:35 PM
First of all, accept my condolences. Allah ya yayi ma mahaifiyar ka gafara ya kyautata makwancin ta ya haɗa ku gidan aljanna Firdausi. Abin da ta bari a baya kuma Allah ya musu albarka. Ameen Secondly, I won't advise you to end things. It seems to me she's scared of losing you and loves you hence the concerns and feeling of guiltiness(could all be an act). Some girls/ladies from time give attention to other guys other than their boyfriends not because they wish to date them or cheat. It kind of boost their self-esteem. It makes them feel like women too and are wanted not just by one person. It becomes a problem to them if no one looks their way but only the guy they're with. It could also be that she's starting a relationship with another guy just in case one doesn't work out. as in ta raba kafa kenan. Either way my advice to you is to tread carefully. Don't go all in but don't withdraw completely as anything could happen. Just be you, love her the way it won't become a problem to your relationship (i.e, not too much as it may give her the liberty to do and undo as she likes cos she knows you're crazy about her and probably can't do without her. And not too lightly to the extent that it becomes as if you're not that into her, which could give room for other guys in her heart) As you said, you're not in a good financial position to opt for marriage at the moment. So it may prove difficult for you to stop her from dating other guys. At any moment ana iya matsa mata ta fito da miji, idan kuma baka shirya ba kaga akwai matsala. Just focus on your relationship with her, build something with her that can stand the test of other guys. I'd like to tell you to pay no heed to her relationship with other guys, but I know it won't work. Even I can't do that. Idan ita Allah ya rubuta maka no matter what sai ta zama taka. Idan kuma ba taka ce ba, babu yadda ka iya. Akan samu wanda suka yi soyayya kamar zasu haɗiye juna amma kuma a ƙarshe basu auri juna ba. After all that's said, you know your girlfriend better than we do, for 4 years you should probably be able to know what she's capable of. Even though there are those that are good pretenders, your friends didn't lie. Kuma baka sanin halin mutum gaba daya sai ka zauna da shi. Peace ✌🏽
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