If I get married, I want to be very married

Assalamu Alaikum Yan'uwana. I am writing this with a heavy heart. I have been through a lot of in my life that would have broken many. But I always tried to count my blessings and thank Allah for all the good things in my life. Alhamdulillah Alhamdulillah 😊. Ya Allah ina rokonka kamar yanda na yi kokarin riqe mutuncina da budurcina for 29 years Ya Allah Ka bani iko da qarfin kai shi dakin mijina. Ko wanne mutum akwai dalilinsa na son shiga bautar aure ni dalilina shine in kare kaina daga zunubi, in tsare mutuncin zuri’ata, in yi alfahari da haqurina kuma in gode ma Allah da imanina. Ina kyamar zina ina mutuqar kishin jikina kuma na qi yarda in zama jakar gayu. Yan'uwanka na jini su goranta maka, dangin uwa magana na uba korafi, makota gulma, kakanni tambaya, qawaye wance har yanzu dai baki aure ba? Cousins su wance an tsaya ruwan ido. Komai yana da lokaci amma mutane ke nauyaya maka dakon jiran, komai akwai dalili ina laifin a maka addu'a, ko baka yi auren don biyan buqatar sha'awa ba ka yi don farin cikin da samun 'ya'ya ke zuwa da shi. Wa ya ke badawa in ba Allah ba? Wa Ya isa ya tilastama Allah ne?? Ubangijin Jannatul Firdaus Mai Yin komai a lokacin da Ya so. Na yi addu'ar shekaru masu yawa, na yi sallar dare, na yi azumi, na yi sadaka na saka mutanen kirki su mun addu'a amma maza mayaudara, maqaryata da madamfara na ke cin karo da su. Ya Allah Ka sanni ka san kyakykyawar zuciyata, Allah Ka taimake ni 🤲🏼😭.