Finding a true love
Anonymous Oct 9, 11:43 AM

Finding a true love 4

I am a 22years old young lady who is so worried and doesn’t know what to do...I have a big problem I am a final year student and d first born to a family of 6, I fell in love when I was 17years that was my first love and I never taught he wouldn’t be my husband to be but unfortunately he cheated me and deceived me leaving me with a scar in my heart cox I looses my virginity to him mistakenly which I totally regretted doing that but I got to heal myself knowing I was forced and was too young then...After breaking up with him I was so Afraid to fall in love again thinking I will surely fall into another mans trap...I hated men and also didn’t want to fall in love again despite I have a lot of lovers pushin and begging me to be their wife...but all are lies!!! I later recover the pain and ache and gave it a try again but unfortunately I fell deep in love with someone who doesn’t care about me I did dat again and again giving chance to men thinking they truly love me but no they are all bunch of liars I broke up with them without any fight or argument I will just one day wake up and can’t find them again I got worried Day by day because any man I dated I always present them to my family thinking they are the right ones. My mum got worried all times and ask if I always do something bad to scare them away and Wlh as far as I am concerned I don’t do anything despite being sincere to them cox I love everyeach of them with all my heart .. because after some months most of them tried coming back to my life but I denied them cox they hurt me and I can’t bear it anymore so all I do was to make them my friends and most atone they all say how they wish I am their wife how they wished could get back together,a lot even says they have never met a girl so patient and kind as me someone who doesn’t care about a man who is rich or poor sincerely speaking Alhamdulilah I am not materialistic... I tired making my mum happy by telling her everything is Allah’s will and all I need from her is her prayers.....I haven’t been into any relationship for some times and I decided to give your platform a try and I met two people so kind and caring at first I wasn’t so much interested but I got instead to the first one due to his caring towards me ....I trusted him and fell in love with him but still it didn’t work Cox he isn’t so open to me seems like he has covers a lot of lies to me so I decide to step back not to hurt myself again ....while d second is just like a caring friend which I still don’t know where our relationship is heading cox he has a girlfriend and I see no reason for me to fall in love with him cox he got someone else... what I am disturbed with is how can I find a true love ....How do u know someone truly loves you... And all I believe in is if I cheated on anyone or betrayed anyone Allah will surely punish me and if I didn’t May Allah Reward me ........
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Replies

(4)
Abdourl 12 Oct 10, 09:49 PM
So sad, well, honestly there's no sign that will let you know that someone's truly loves you, because most a times someone will comes to your life with many reasons that would let you allow him and think positive towards him and he may suddenly change eventually. Some might offer you a sex, some will be bringing up unnecessary quarrels and many unhappy moments. To me, praying is the best way that Allah will chooses you the righteous man, you might perhaps won't believe it in the beginning but as you stay together you will definitely see the true love with, caring and respect and believe me that person will never hurt or betrayed you Insha Allah. Calm down, pray, do azkar and seek guidance in forming a decision (Istikhara) when someone comes to your life you'll find your true lover insha Allah.
reply 1
Anonymous #1 Oct 11, 10:43 PM
Hmmmmmm Sis true love is loving urself, and having least expectations. If there something I learnt after joining dis forum is patience!!! U need patience for a better result. Pray more and worry less. U will surely find true Love.
reply 5
Hatty Oct 21, 05:25 PM
Salam alaykum sister. it must be exhausting to betrying so hard with different people and then things do not work out.I will just give you a very simple advise. Take some time off dating to evaluate what you want out of a marriage partner. you seem to be too eager to find love when you do not even know what love is (no offence). so i will just advice you to take some time for yourself and learn about what you want in a man and a marriage. you probably don't know what a woman needs from a man for a happy union and what are the fundementals and foundation of true love. Which is why true love continues to evade you because you do not know what it looks like hence you cannot recognise it when you see it and you cannot reject it when something else is masqurading and pretending to be true love. you seem to be a nice girl so please know your value and do not allow anyone to make you feel less or to make you become too eager to find "true love" that you end up hurting yourself. Also one of the things that stood out to me was that you are aware that many of the boys you were speaking with are liers, cheats and unreliable yet you continue to relate with them. do you want to marry a lier, cheat, or hypocrite as a husband? if no, then you need to end any relationship once you relise that the boy is not honest and genuinely interested in you. a cheat just like a lier will always be a cheat so avoid men with personality problems. Learn to vet men and read men before you think of getting serious with anyone and do not invest your time/emotions too much in any relationship. Always maintain a respectable distance that will allow you to be objective when a relationship is getting rocky. you sound very young that is why you think that true love is somethinnng that can be fashioned through lies, cheating and deception and betrayal. You will find true love when you learn to love and be content with yourself as nobody can love you if you do not love yourself (ponder over that). I wish you the best. Bissalam
reply 2
Ayesha Abdullahi Oct 15, 10:08 AM
so sad
reply 0

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