Should a Boyfriend Gift his Girlfriend?: My Opinion
Abubakar Usman Jul 1, 11:34 AM

Should a Boyfriend Gift his Girlfriend?: My Opinion 1

Assalamu alaikum ya a'hibbayi Barkan ku da Sallah kuma Allah ya Kara maimaita mana Ameen ๐Ÿ™ recently I noticed a growing number of ladies comparing and complaining that their boyfriends is miser/stingy/maku etc. I believe most of us went to islamiyya and our reason for going to islamiyya is to reflect the Islamic education into your lives right? good... Islamically, wehther you are a guy or a lady, it is good to give gifts to people babies ๐Ÿ‘ถ, elder ๐Ÿง“ aunties ๐Ÿ‘ฉ๐Ÿผ mother ๐Ÿ‘ต even a girlfriend ๐Ÿ‘ง๐Ÿผ (with intention of marriage) boyfriend (with the intention of marriage) and shall receive lada/good deeds/ha'saanat... may Allah grant us good deed from our daily acts. Our focus is on guy giving a lady a gift right? firstly, let's talk about our culture, imagine yourself as a father or a mother which children, and one of your female child brought a gift to the house from someone you both don't know? is that part of our culture fisabilillah? we both know that some guys have evil intentions towards a lady and they will use gifts her to lower her down to his needs... Secondly, Let's talk about the Islamic ruling on gifting a lady... a gift is not giving a lady directly rather, through her parents and when her parents accepts such gifts then a lady should accept it, and they most already be in a courtship with a sole intention of marriage and nothing else, meaning engagement and both parents most know each other too . Thirdly, let's talking about the economy, I know, I have seen, and I understand that most/some ladies are finding life difficult due to financial and emotional stress in the country, especially those in schools, may Allah make it easy for you all and the guys too... I have no Islamic Hadith in gifting on this aspect ( please some should teach us the Islamic rulings here), but generally speaking a it is encouraged for a financially capable guy with good intentions to earn reward from Allah SWT to assist a lady who is in need of financial assistance to support her education, feeding, and other important things not Kayan sallah and other irrelevant things in order to avoid the lady (especially those in school) from falling a victim to the evil minded guys. by the way, I stand to be corrected ๐Ÿ‘จโ€๐ŸŽ“ my personal advise to all ladies, Zamani ya chanxa the world is coming to an end please and please try as much as possible to start a business or learn a skill and perfect yourself on it because the more you ask a guy the more some of them will try to take advantage of you, by saying this, I will also like to advise the men, my guys, my able and capable gender ๐Ÿ˜Ž instead of gifting a lady with cloth or shoe or whatever, let's try and support their businesses by patronizing them, by getting customers for them, or by financially adding the number of their products so that they can grow and we earn a growing reward from Allah SWT. So my brothers and sisters, my Sallah is not complete because I have not eaten pounded yam yet ๐Ÿฅน and no body invited me to eat pounded yam with goat meat ๐Ÿ– but I surely hope your Eid was well spent, Allah has accepted your sacrifices and rewarded you all aboundantly and may see many more EID to come and may our deceased loved ones continue to rest under Allah's Rahma and light. I love you All โค๏ธ ๐Ÿ˜Ž ๐Ÿ™ Taqabalallahu Minna Wa Minkum!
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Replies

(17)
Anonymous #1 Jul 1, 12:14 PM
Ameeen thumma ameen, jazakallahu khairan
reply 1
28 Jul 1, 02:01 PM
Ameen ya rabbil alamin Jazakallah khairan
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Abubakar Usman Jul 1, 03:09 PM

wa'khaitan lakum
reply 1
Abubakar Usman Jul 1, 03:09 PM

wa'khaitan lakum ๐Ÿ™
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Anonymous #2 Jul 1, 09:48 PM
Wlsm warahmatullah, poster I understand where you are headed, as a guy don zaka bani 2k or 3k sai ka bi ta iyayena? because you want to buy me ice cream sai ka kai shi hannun iyaye na before ka bani? we are not talking about just a random man here, ina magana akan saurayi na, weather ka iso gida or not, I might just come back home with ice cream gida maybe you picked me up from school and on the way you saw an ice cream joint ka tsaya ka saya, Mom this person bought this for me shikenan an wuce wurinโ€ฆ. As a lady my mom knows my movement and she knows the men I speak toโ€ฆ Iโ€™m a lady for God sake dole inda masoya itโ€™s just left for me to pick out who is serious and bring him forward to my family, and this wonโ€™t happen without us getting to know each other firstโ€ฆ so yes I will speak to a guy first before my family knows of him unless if he comes directly through them to get to meโ€ฆ to me duk wannan bayanin naka is just showing that you as a man your hands are not open, what if Allah ya hadaka da wacce bata iya roko ba? you canโ€™t offer her something? ita zuciya tana son mai kyautata mata, both the men and women like to receive gifts, no one says it has to be something big, the gesture in giving is what is appreciated
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Abubakar Usman Jul 1, 10:29 PM

oh dear sister ๐Ÿ˜Š kindly read my statement again... and please don't take it personal... however, we have different upbringing and my parents will never allow a guy who they dont know to be with my sister in car talkless of buying her ice cream ๐Ÿฆ... all I said here is exactly what Islamic practice says... lastly I really think it's none of your business wehther my hands are closed or not (no offense ๐Ÿ˜Š) because you simply don't know me... may Allah guide us to the righteous paths Ammen... remain bless sis na ๐Ÿ˜Š
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Zee Abdul Jul 2, 06:49 AM

I understand where both of you are coming from, obviously you are from totally different background that's why your perspectives are different. However, I will agree with you (poster) in some of your points, i also agree with her in terms of, its not everything that must follow through her parents, as a man, you can decide to load her airtime (credit) for example, those little things do not have to go through parents.
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Abubakar Usman Jul 2, 10:14 AM

Masha sallah ๐Ÿ˜Š I like your response... Antashi lafiya? well you see my sister, no matter what background we came from, the Islamic lifestyle should be the same, and some cultures are welcome as far it does not defies Islam. what I posted in base on my own research in Hadith, I have personally sent recharge card to my ex. and I can't say it's wrong or good because I have not yet found an Islamic baking to it, this is a public forum nobody should say anything that will make Allah SWT to ask you questions in hereafter because of misleading people, but just like I meantion above, I stand to be corrected Banda girman Kai ๐Ÿ˜Š gift or no gift shouldn't affect the relationship when you love a person for the sake of Allah. even though it's really good to give gifts. lastly, I think you should try to be fair next time even though you are a female like her, but you didn't read my post well, nor did you check my response to her accurately... Allah ya sa mu dace... Ameen
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Zee Abdul Jul 2, 05:10 PM

I read your post, and your replies to her as well, You see I don't fully agree with the part she indicated a lady being isolated with a Guy, like picking her from school or going places alone, or giving her expensive gifts without her parents knowing, I don't 100% agree with that but it depends on the circumstance. Most ladies who complain of BFs that don't give, wasu ma sun fi karfin abun but subconsciously a lady feels a man is her provider so she is expected to see some signs regarding that. But its not always about the lady is lacking or anything, she may even have more than him but its just that validation that we want. I agree with some of your points and part of hers too because i can understand both of your arguments.
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Abubakar Usman Jul 3, 12:34 AM

on one occasion i remember when my friend's sister come out to pick her aunt's bag from my car and she spent 10mins charging her phone in my car, we gisted a little... such situations might have happened but never with a fiancee. it is noteworthy for you to know that i grew up in a country where male and female interaction is prohibited and can lead a man to one year in prison. besides im not the going for tadi type. Allah yasa mudace ameen
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Anonymous #4 Jul 4, 09:48 AM
Thanks for this, a lot of girls these days would consider ending things with an amazing guy that doesnโ€™t gift because of peer pressure. But the issue is, if you canโ€™t have a working relationship without gifts, itโ€™ll be difficult for you to have a marriage when itโ€™s tough. You as a person should not have expectations from anyone. your boyfriend is not your father. Imagine those of us dating 24 ladies (pun intended) and gifting all of them, we could go broke na ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚
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