Is this enough to change my wife? (Food issue)
Marriage
Anonymous Oct 15, 05:19 PM

Is this enough to change my wife? (Food issue) 0

I have a problem with my wife, 6 month Marriage but the Food is bad and always late. ni kuma that is one of the things that move me, ina so inga na tashi da safe an gama breakfast, when i am back in the afternonn i want to see delicious meals but instead wata rana ma se da in sha cornflakes in fita. I have talked over and over again but babu chanji maybe 1 - 2 days and we are back to the past. This is someone i spent over 200k fees for her to learn dishes before our marriage expecting a Good cook but i am very disappointed. I am having second thoughts of marrying someone and because i cannot afford two wives, she may have to go b iut don't want to be in the huddles of marriage again. Her work and schedule is not too demanding for her not to be doing these things that really matter. Every month i giver her 100k for shopping and everything but still, infact last kazar da tayi was not even soft da mutum ze ji dadi. I am just not satisfied at all in this aspect ni mutum me san abinci gaksiya. maybe registering in this matchmaking platform and making my demands clear and strict may help me get someone to my taste. I will still welcome your opinions or a better solution
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Replies

(30)

Aiichatour Oct 15, 05:25 PM
since you have talked to her several times and there is no any improvement, try talking to her relatives, maybe her elder sister.
reply 0
Zaikardi Oct 15, 06:11 PM
Allah sarki talk to her relative someone da zai mata fada taji Wanda take Jin maganar su 6month of marriage and ace har an fara jinku akan abinci Take it easy on her please komi sai ana hakuri da juna And you too talk to her idan Kuma Bata chanza ba you can hire a maid
reply 1
Anonymous Oct 15, 06:20 PM

I really don't like to drag other people into issues like this, i don't want any drama or gossip around me. Its a decision i will have to take on my own.
reply 2
Aiichatour Oct 15, 06:40 PM

then think about things that are always taking much of her time. like films,games, reading novels, or phone addiction. try disconnecting her with the stuffs and see if it work out.its too early to start misbehaving after just 6months
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Anonymous #1 Oct 15, 07:00 PM
Deleted

Sister you can say it here, unless you have another motive
reply 0
Sumayya sulaiman Oct 15, 07:03 PM

I mean no harm sis I thought the forum name was matchmaking I'm not trying to do something bad relax!!
reply 2
Anonymous #1 Oct 15, 07:07 PM

The Forum is not for matchmaking. its general purpose. if you have any suggestion or words for him. you can say it here others too may benefit
reply 0
Anonymous #3 Oct 15, 07:31 PM
talking about Divorce it’s a little too early we understand that you’ve talked to her several times but I think one more time won’t do harm, talk to her in the most calm possible and make it clear to her this is what you want and this is going to be the last time that you guys will have the discussion remind her of the importance of what you want and the after wards let her know of the conditions of her not doing the things you want , if after all still no changes then I think you go ahead and getting married or do what ever you want because I feel like we’re all ready to go above and beyond for the people will love. and change some changes in our lifestyle too.
reply 2
Ibrahim maryam ramadan Oct 15, 08:01 PM
I don’t knw why,mutum ya aure ke,ya kawo ki gidan sa,pay attention to ur needs,but dafa abinci ya zama miki problem!for me kam since u have been complaining about it and no any improvement,just add another wife ko zatayi hankali ta canza.some people dey get dis opportunity and still dey play 😂Allah ya kawuta
reply 2
Binta Musa Muhammad Oct 15, 08:10 PM
Since you talked to her several times, but no change, Ka fito ka fada Mata cewa zaka Kara wani Auren, idan Bata zance ba
reply 0
Saadiya idris umar Oct 15, 08:25 PM
ka zaunar da ita ka karanta mata cikin kwanciyar hankali idan bata daina ba zaka kara aure.to idan tanason aurenta zata gyara amma kara aure yanxu is too early 😔. ALLAH ya ganar da ita ya baku mafita.
reply 0
Mimie Oct 15, 09:11 PM
Wasu matan ma dae suna wasa da damar da suke da ita.... 😪
reply 1
Mimie Oct 15, 09:12 PM

😹😹 Allah ya kawo na gari
reply 0
Saudat Mansur Oct 15, 10:01 PM
kaci gaba da Addu'a kuma kuma kana nuna Mata muhimmanci San kaci abinci ta fiye daka fita waje kaci
reply 4
Anonymous #2 Oct 15, 10:09 PM

Ameen Ameen
reply 1
Khair Oct 15, 10:22 PM
lol the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach is this true? well I did advice you consult with her sister or relatives since you have cautioned her and she still would not change
reply 1
Anonymous #4 Oct 16, 12:43 PM

how can you belittle your own fellow woman to make yourself feel better mace kamar ke no body is perfect in bata iya abinci bah ta iya wani abu honestly it's disappointing to see yanda mata suke yi wa yan uwansu mata sometimes yanzu da kanwar kice ko yar ki zaki bashi shawar ya kara aure after 6 months of marriage fisabillilah
reply 0
Anonymous #4 Oct 16, 12:51 PM
Wlh anabi Muhammad saw ya tsani saki kuma yanzu akan girki Sai ka saki diyar wani bayan auren wata 6 fisabillilah kaima fah zaka haihu how would you feel if a man divorced your daughter after 6 months of marriage because she can’t cook there are soooo many ways to tackle the situation amma saki da kara mata is not an option at this point Dama dan abinci kadai ka aure tah ask yourself that….. who knows Sai ka auri wada ta iya abinci kuma ka kasa samu kwanciyar hankali before you make any decisions think about her parents who were happy to marry her off to you think about the day you will give your daughter to someone as wife…..
reply 3
Anonymous #5 Oct 16, 01:47 PM
To me dai gsky saki should be d last option u have karma kabari shaidhan yafara samun wajen sa maka dis type of thinking,and qara mata too will not solve the problem 50/50 it's under probability ance d devil u know is better than d angel u don't know, I know maybe akwai wata aunt dinta dat u r open to kuma she's very close to her dukda is too early to be inviting a third party in ur marital affairs but tunda tura takai bango u can meet her and tell her d problem so dat ta sameta tayi mata magana just between d 3 of u,after dat idan bata daina ba den u can threaten her with adding a second wife and see her reaction towards it,shin zata canza or she will give room for another lady to share her husband with, from there u will know what to decide amma banda saki pls saidai idan ita ta nema,amma idan kasan ajebo ka dakko fa batayi a gidansu mummy and daddy's girl ne to kasan akwai matsala there's no way she will change one tym dole saika yi hakuri da ita and start moulding her to ur satisfaction har ka cinma burinka but d journey won't be an easy one sai anyi hakuri,Allah ya kyauta mana.
reply 0
Boubar Oct 16, 02:34 PM
I have been married about 10 years now. I can write a whole book about marriage. One key thing I have learnt over the years is that there is no perfect wife or husband. Dole ne there would be something you won't like in your spouse; don't be surprised there is also something about you that she doesn't like but she's taking it the way it is. You may marry another wife and find out she's a great cook Masha Allah, but guess what she could be grossly inadequate in other areas that you would want and which maybe this one already has. And the cycle continues. So, if she meets your expectations in majority of things and only fails in cooking then it's not much of a problem. It's things that have to do with personality, behaviour and attitude that are very difficult to change, but things that relate to skills which cooking is one of, they can be learned. Whoever is doing well in cooking invariably learned it from somewhere and your wife can also learn. Give another shot at teaching on cooking but within your home not in any catering school, get someone that cooks well and employ her to teach her for 2 weeks or 1 month at must. The other part which has to do with lateness is the only thing that I regard as serious and needs to be discussed by both of you and arrive at a reasonable conclusion. Maybe she's finding it hard to adjust, perhaps a gidansu they didn't train her to be responsible for house chores that require timeliness or maybe she has the perception that aure is all about Hutu. You need to firmly and politely (depends, if it's zare ido that puts more sense in her fine) engage her to understand how it serves her interest too. Try to make her understand what she stands to lose if she doesn't improve; and also find something from your side that you think could be contributing to her attitude and address it - it could be as simple as you keeping her awake late into the night, or something else. Again, there is no perfect marriage. You are just at a stage where you need to make some decisions together. The lovey dovey phase is now getting over and you are entering the stage of 'understanding and accommodating' each other. It could be turbulent but it's also promising.
reply 7
Fatima Alfa Oct 18, 08:12 AM
please try to talk to her again for improvement or take her to another cooking school.i thought this kind of cooking matters don't exist again.Allah yasa much dace
reply 0
Muhammad Hunaidarh Gidado Oct 18, 12:04 PM

wlh opportunity comes but once
reply 2
Hameerah Oct 18, 09:17 PM
Actually this is so sad to hear the fact that u have spent 200k for her to learn is something to consider am not supporting the divorce but atleast find another way why not contact her aunt or sister she might change if they talked to her
reply 0
Teeemeeer Oct 29, 09:14 AM
Allah yasa adace Allah yazaba maka Mafi alkhairi 😰
reply 0
Popoola Kudirat Adebimpe Oct 29, 03:09 PM
dear poster,do you know how to cook,if yes Masha Allah,if no,try learn and try entering the kitchen with her once in a while or all the time depending on which suit you well,cook for her,cook with her,teach her to cook...aside helping her cooking skills it will strengthen your Bond as well... marrying another for that reason won't help cos she might also be a bad cook or she might lack something else you need....if you want to marry let it be fisabilillah and not just cos you need a good cook...may Almighty Allah ease your affairs
reply 0
Sabir Nov 4, 09:24 AM
Just get a cook, instead of giving her 100k for food stuff you could use that money to get food stuff and still pay the cook from it.
reply 0

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