I feel pressured to get married

don't rush into marriage be calm and always be praying your own man will locate you in shaa Allah Allah ya bamu nagari

the pressure is it from you or your parents?

good question

both....

Don't rush in marriage because of family pressure

don't rush into marriage, because marrying someone you don't love you will regret in your Life. Life is a continuous journey you don't know the end. keep praying the right person will come. because marrying the wrong person is better to stay single. because it will be like a hell 🔥🔥 to you. if your parents keep pressuring you. just ask them to provide the house for you, because you couldn't find one

It's not abnormal. After all the love of nowadays is always conditional and never pure. So if like you said you can go with someone who's a good person and satisfies your specs then I believe you are good to go. Sometimes people have to balance this issue of 'wait in patience for the right one' and reality, because that has led so many to lose good spouses just because they don't feel love for the ones that come around and propose to them. Even among the four conditions (wealth, lineage, beauty, religion) mentioned in the popular Hadith on reasons why people marry each other there is no love there, so that tells you love is not an indispensable precondition for marriage.

but I also want a family of my own.

well said, yes love is not included in the conditions of marriage. Have you also noticed even if the love is not there you sometimes strive to be better for the other person... to make him happy, and that's also love right ?

Ameen ya rabb

ok, thanks for your advice, may Allah give me the strength to bear it

thanks for this piece, jazakallah

Yea. Love is not always the lovey dovey things. The basic elements needed for stable marriage are compatibility and understanding, because even when marriage is done for love the love fades or is later transferred to the children. What would keep the marriage unshaky and steady are those two elements, among other things.

yes you're right. jazakallah one thing I strongly believe in marriage is the understanding between partners, thanks for opening my eyes to view this in a good way.

Masha Allah, welcome and best wishes.

What i don't understand is that, why are you in a hurry or feel pressurized, The pressure will only push you to make a quick decision which may backfire on you. What is wrong with finding purpose or an occupation and focusing on that, then seeing how the marriage will come, don't actively rush in getting married, you will end up regretting. Be careful

I want to experience all the good things that comes with marriage, I feel I'm missing on in some things. I'm not really idle, I have an occupation and I'm a professional in my field. thoughts din auren ne bazai bar kai na ba. your first four lines sounds reprimanding and just as an elder brother will speak to his younger sister 😂, thanks for bringing me back on track.

You are welcome, but ask yourself what are the good things that come with marriage, are they really that Good? or is it more of a compromise & sacrifice? i myself is not married because i believe in building myself and having something substantial before going into all these. Marriage is not what it may seem to you from the outside. Learn to live and have a stable life as an individual never on the basis of relying on someone or a doctrine

I believe suna dayawa: from the emotional support, to companionship, to love, to trust, to communication, to starting a family of your own, to support, to intimacy, to good food ready available for the man, the list is just long. being with a good partner the compromise and sacrifices will be worth it I believe. I don't know why but I'm just looking at things from a better point of view, no matter what we think of it, sai mun yi experiencing dinshi zamu iya bada labari.

not normal marriage is not done like that pray over it God hears your prayers

Well, based on what you have said, it shows you are optimistic about Marriage so you have to be extra careful in choosing someone that will make you experience those realities. You already know the moral atmosphere of Nigeria and how people generally are, So choose carefully.... there are still good men but very few. The Majority roaming are those that have no regards for basic basic ethics, sincerity, they believe lies and deception makes them smart, and all sort of morally bankrupt practices. i'm sure you already know the situation we are in generally with people in Nigeria. so be careful when choosing a Man

yes all you said is the truth. thank you once again

this is the truth 💯, thanks once again

welcome

hey