I like guys (i'm a guy) and I can't help it. Advice please
Secrets
Anonymous Nov 15, 12:20 AM

I like guys (i'm a guy) and I can't help it. Advice please 7

I have a big problem I've been battling with for a long time. I've never dated anyone before even during my university time, and all my life I have been so scared. I found out a long time ago that I'm more attracted to guys than girls. I come from a really poor family but Alhamdulillah I'm extremely good and focused academically and professionally. During my university time, I had no time for any romantic relationship. I had a few close female friends then but our friendship was strictly platonic. I graduated from university some years back and Alhamdulillah I now work in a place where many Nigerians, even children of elites, dream of working. All my life, I was so scared to do anything with a guy because of the gravity of the sin in Islam. But starting from last year, I've had sex with a couple guys - all of them foreigners - Arabs and white. I do feel remorseful after the act, but to be honest, I like it. My family's dream now is to see me get married and unfortunately I haven't found any lady I would love to marry yet. The problem is I don't even make any effort to find one. I will be moving to North America in a couple of months and I am so scared that I may become addicted to having gay sex given that over there, it's legal and there is no any existing threats, at least not like here. I'm just so confused. I have been trying to suppress the feelings but no success yet. Please I need your advice.
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Replies

(34)

Abduljaleel Bayero Nov 23, 11:40 PM
Well! this sounds fucked up and messy but I hope y'all will excuse my use of language. I like how you have fully identified the fact that you have tried it and you like it because you see it always starts with been curious then liking and subsequently trying and when we like it, then all we want is more of it. You see my problem now is that while it may be a bit difficult to get over it while you are in Nigeria 🇳🇬 it's a hundred times harder abroad, because there it will be easier, no judgment and what are the chances of anyone in Nigeria getting to know this? probably zero, I will hate to say no advice will change you because I am sure that's not why you are opening up here but rather to see if anyone will have a clue. few things I will suggest here will be try to expose yourself to a lot of harsh punishments been told against anyone committing this acts and that you can simply do by constantly listening on YouTube or just casually googling it and also try to look up for all the side effects of that also. Now hopefully this over time will help to start creating toxicity between you and those thoughts over time. And before you even travel out I will advice you look up the Muslim communities there and try to engage with them so that immediately you get there they will be your first contact and hopefully you can put up a new reality since it's a new environment, build good relationships with the sheikh's and other people there and insha Allah you won't get to mingle with those that will make it fairly easy for you to look into the act. I am gonna put you in my prayers like anyone else here insha Allah. Also you can go the extra mile of getting a therapist that will help you break the addiction if at all you feel it is becoming so. Or you can deal with it yourself and insha Allah you will come back to tell us how much you have successfully been able to abstain.
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Anonymous #2 Nov 30, 03:09 PM
Poster may Allah heal you Always remember you will be in the grave May Allah forgive us all Pray tahajjud over it. I need your help also 🙏
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Aisha Idris Tahir Sep 2, 06:21 PM
innalillahi wa inna ilaihirrajiun sad and pity
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