Ever since i was little i have always been shy, i get anxious when i am around people and i find it hard to make friends even when i do we tend to part a few weeks later. I attended 3 different secondary boarding schools with hopes of changing the story but i end up with the same results. When i was in Jss3 i discovered m@sturbating and it helped me a lot. I stopped bothering if i had friends or not as i was satisfying myself. I was really tall for my age back then and i stood out amongst my peers. Then i had a growth spurt and i gained 5 inches within a year and people started seeing me as someone older than his age. I started getting advances from women way older than me but i wasn't interested as i unfortunately got addicted to m@sturbation. Now I've gotten all i've always wanted but i kept pushing people away. I graduated from Uni in October 2020 and between then and now i have been in 5 different relationships and i was the cause of the failures i didn't cheat but i didn't care about my partners' feelings as i almsot immediately didn't see the need for intimacy immediately we start dating because of my addiction to m@sturbating. I made a commitment to stop masturbating on September 15th and this past one month has been hard, the addiction and urge are starting to fade. But i still find it hard to feel anything for anyone, i've done researches on how to make whoever i fall in love with happy also how to connect but nothing positive has come out of it, instead i keep fantasising on how I'll treat my princess right even when i know i am emotionally unavailable. Are there any off the book tips i can get from my brothers and sisters on this platform. I plan to be a husband and father in next couple of years but i am scared i will become a terrible one. I don't want take an innocent woman from her parents and then treat her in an inhumane manner. Assalamualaikum Wa Rahmatullahi Wa Barakatuhu. ❤️