I don't know if I should laugh or cry after I was not granted scholarship

have you ever experience laughing and crying at the same time, I guess there should be an English word for that😂, wai nayi applying wani scholarship ne, and even went down to Abuja to write the exams, sai jiya a few applicants I met there called me wai they have been awarded, gashi har nayi calculating Abubu Wanda zanyi da kudin in ta shigo, tun jiya kam na kasa gane wa kaina, abun dariya, wani kam zai zata ajiya na Basu kudin.