With time and prayer comes ease

I still remembered when I was a 16-year-old teenager, lol very silly and committed to goals and wishes. I wasn't concerned about love, worldly things, relationship or beauty. my problem was to pass my exams, finish school and become a fucking doctor that will earn 300-400K a month. I remembered I wrote Jamb 8 times, hahaha isn't that crazy, my mum's dream was for me to become a doctor, and my dad's dream was to see me in med school practising medicine. I well Allah's wish for me was different, I planned everything to an extent that I will get my first kid by 24, guess what, I dont even have a boyfriend, hahhahah. hmmm Not that I dont have suitors, nor people that want or love me, it's just that I think they are after one thing or the other, I am not comfortable with men around me. I see them as distractions and receivers, I am not a doctor in fact my educational background is funny and a story for another day. but to cut it short, I am a diploma holder, trying to start my degree at 24 lol, earning good Alhamdulilah, single without headache lol. Now what do I want, I think I need a guy/man that is within my own space, ( I mean educated especially in tech, funny like me, amazing, romantic, tall, dark, hot, and sweet). I need someone I can call my best friend, brother, soulmate and partner. Might seem difficult but everything is possible with Allah. most of my peers are married, I am not comparing things but why does society see me like something that should be within the wings of a man rather than myself. why does society rush me to do something I am not ready to? what is this thing called Marriage and why am I not comfortable with any guy yet. hmmmmm