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Some of our honorable teachers advised:
If a woman wants a successful marriage; one based in piety and knowledge, and wants a peaceful home, there are a few important things to consider:
• The husband’s preferences are very important. He has the greatest right over you, so consider your good treatment to him similar to treating the parent well. This does not mean that you should not want anything, but if you want peace in your home, and a content husband, consider his preferences and correct your intention. This is better than fighting him!
• *DO NOT* say to your husband, “You don’t do/never did anything,” or the like.
• Men generally like submissiveness over defiance.
You may and should advise your husband with what is best. If he is smart, and it is better, he will listen, but try not to take the last word, or insist that he does it your way. If he does not, it does not mean that he does not listen to you. The man should be the leader, so let him be a man. Do not try to control him - if you want a peaceful home and relationship.
• If you are a career woman, do not be aggressive with your husband, or any brother you’d hope to marry. Do not say, “I intimidate men.” Truly, most men are simply not attracted to the aggressiveness, no matter how beautiful you are.
• Remember that the Religion has mentioned qualities that make a woman more or less desirable for marriage, like piety, beauty, knowledge, money, lineage, status, virginity, articulation, and lack of children.
The Religion encourages the man to choose the *Religious one* over all, and choosing for looks, money or status will ruin him. But if the pious woman is also pretty, then it is recommended for him to marry her.
Therefore, do not forget the importance of beauty to many or most men, even if you are already long married. Healthy diet and exercise are beneficial.
• If you remarry, *DO NOT* prevent the father from taking his child. This is God’s Wisdom. It is better for your new marriage and husband, and better for your child and the child’s father, even if you don’t prefer it.
- I ask Allaah to grant us piety, patience and wisdom and make us successful on Judgement Day. Aameen |
