Mar 12, 12:14 PM
I need Advice
So I'm new here please pardon my mistakes.
I used to have intense emotions towards my partners,the last relationship I had ruined me. Don't get me wrong but I never met this person in person. He appeared to be very kind and loving even though he was impersonating someone else. He never asked for anything from me (money or nudes) but he always disappeared n reappear with some lame excuses but because I was deeply into it, I had hope that he was going to change. He hurts me alot n made me so happy alot,so it was hard for me to decide to let go or not.
At a point he broke up with me n I was broken inside out,did things to helped myself moved on n I actually investigated n got to know I was in love with another person's pictures and another person's voice. I felt stupid n foolish,I was never a fan of video call.
So to cut the story short it's almost 2yrs now but it's like I've caged my heart and I don't seem to know how to love,commit or build relationships, I have trust issues and I don't feel like any guy is understanding and patient enough to go through the stage of healing with me.
I've ruined so many relationships and marriage proposals because I'd rather be quite than tell my story to any guy that comes to me, I have the fear of being judged, heartbroken again n I really don't want to go through what I went through the last time,I almost lost my faith n I had to battle with my heart n pray alot to accept the fact that Allah never tests us beyond our capabilities, I run away n ruin my relationship with any guy I start becoming close to or having some kind of feelings towards him.
I want to get married but I think I need help to overcome my fears. Please anyone with idea on what to do should help me. Thank you ?