Feb 6, 10:56 PM
Warning to others! How porn destroyed my life
I write this with a heavy heart, there is a new addictive substance out there it is Porn.
It all started about 4 years ago.
i use to see people online asking of how to cure this problem and saw few sheikhs address it. In my head i was thinking "how can someone be addicted to porn?, its simple just don't watch it shikenan". ofcox i don't watch at that time but i saw people who were addicted to it as weak.
i Never understood what this really was.
I studied abroad in a very good university with good grades, i use to have alot of compliments from my lectures and collogues of how smart I was in my studies. Finally I was about to graduate and comeback to Nigeria to start a Bright and productive life. I finished my exams 1month before i returned so i had like 1month free time. 1 thing lead to another and i started watching that filthy thing (porn).
I came back to Nigeria normal but i would watch this thing after 3 -4 days, it started to become more frequent. i developed an addiction of Porn and Masturbation and realized when it was too late. It is very compulsive and powerful, i will watch it everyday and ejaculate but I started fighting my urges to recover but failed. I tried my best even during Ramadan I would watch this thing while fasting (I hated it). I will wake up in the morning with a crazy anxiety, can't eat or focus on anything until after I watch it and ejaculate then i will feel normal. It became like a drug I cried as a grown man and felt ashamed to talk to anyone about it. It started to affect my life seriously, anything i start i can't focus on it because porn and masturbation addiction. I was into business and i lost alot of money and opportunities because of this thing.
About 2 years elapsed and I have lost total control to a part of my mind. There are things I never imagined of doing as a noble person but this filthy thing made me do it. I still regret the day I sexually harassed a girl close to me and she cried because she never thought i will do this to her. I never in my right mind would do that but this filthy thing has dominated my mind and its overriding my own mind.
Its a very painful experience to watch yourself being control by porn & masturbation. Because of it i have travelled to different places and isolated myself in hopes of healing but it only lasts for some days and it comes back with full force.
I have lost my Iman and stopped praying because of ejaculation requires bath and over the span of 2- 3 years, it affected my prayer schedule and gradually i started missing then stopped even bothering about it. i feel bad i have tried and tried. Last week I feel I just want to end my life. No one knows about this in my family.
I have lost a lot of opportunities because of this. i can't achieve anything
My brain is Hijacked i don't know what to do. but before i go please know the dangers of porn and avoid it. Please before it does the same to you. Stay away from it. I don't want any innocent soul to go through this miserable experience, Its a very powerful substance that's highly destructive.
I think ending my life would be better, i feel miserable and sad. I have tried all i can but no avail.