Warning to others! How porn destroyed my life
Anonymous Feb 6, 10:56 PM

Warning to others! How porn destroyed my life 2

I write this with a heavy heart, there is a new addictive substance out there it is Porn. It all started about 4 years ago. i use to see people online asking of how to cure this problem and saw few sheikhs address it. In my head i was thinking "how can someone be addicted to porn?, its simple just don't watch it shikenan". ofcox i don't watch at that time but i saw people who were addicted to it as weak. i Never understood what this really was. I studied abroad in a very good university with good grades, i use to have alot of compliments from my lectures and collogues of how smart I was in my studies. Finally I was about to graduate and comeback to Nigeria to start a Bright and productive life. I finished my exams 1month before i returned so i had like 1month free time. 1 thing lead to another and i started watching that filthy thing (porn). I came back to Nigeria normal but i would watch this thing after 3 -4 days, it started to become more frequent. i developed an addiction of Porn and Masturbation and realized when it was too late. It is very compulsive and powerful, i will watch it everyday and ejaculate but I started fighting my urges to recover but failed. I tried my best even during Ramadan I would watch this thing while fasting (I hated it). I will wake up in the morning with a crazy anxiety, can't eat or focus on anything until after I watch it and ejaculate then i will feel normal. It became like a drug I cried as a grown man and felt ashamed to talk to anyone about it. It started to affect my life seriously, anything i start i can't focus on it because porn and masturbation addiction. I was into business and i lost alot of money and opportunities because of this thing. About 2 years elapsed and I have lost total control to a part of my mind. There are things I never imagined of doing as a noble person but this filthy thing made me do it. I still regret the day I sexually harassed a girl close to me and she cried because she never thought i will do this to her. I never in my right mind would do that but this filthy thing has dominated my mind and its overriding my own mind. Its a very painful experience to watch yourself being control by porn & masturbation. Because of it i have travelled to different places and isolated myself in hopes of healing but it only lasts for some days and it comes back with full force. I have lost my Iman and stopped praying because of ejaculation requires bath and over the span of 2- 3 years, it affected my prayer schedule and gradually i started missing then stopped even bothering about it. i feel bad i have tried and tried. Last week I feel I just want to end my life. No one knows about this in my family. I have lost a lot of opportunities because of this. i can't achieve anything My brain is Hijacked i don't know what to do. but before i go please know the dangers of porn and avoid it. Please before it does the same to you. Stay away from it. I don't want any innocent soul to go through this miserable experience, Its a very powerful substance that's highly destructive. I think ending my life would be better, i feel miserable and sad. I have tried all i can but no avail.
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Replies

(19)
ZarahMaifada Feb 7, 12:06 AM
Dear poster, suicide is never an option... Everytime you fall into Haram or commit a sin is a test,for Allah is waiting for your return to Him in repentance,wllhy every single thing in this world is part of Allah's test, repent,seek for forgiveness, He's the most forgiving... Do not despair of the Mercy of Allah...May Allah make it easy for you
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Aisha Usman Feb 7, 06:45 AM
Salamualaikum,I will advice you to get someone(mallam)that you can confide in him and you should go to masjid and engage in Islamiyya don’t let yourself sit along.get a small phone and keep away the big one when ever you feel such say it loudly A’uzubillah minash shaidanin rajim repeat it often and always say astaqfirullah.
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Shimhary Feb 7, 08:09 AM
Dear poster. I have handled this before and I know exactly how to help you. If you really need assistance, kindly contact me please. 07011523836. I look forward to hearing from you. Suicide is never an option and there is always a way out. Endeavor to call me please.
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Fauziyya Isa Hassan Feb 7, 10:00 AM
I had wanted to ask you to contact me for help but a brother has already offered to help, please indulge in istigfar and repent sincerely Verily Allah will see you through it.
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Pharm Y Feb 7, 05:56 PM
Salam. Like everyone has rightly suggested suicide is never an option. Might I suggest you block the site from your phone. You can check the internet to find out how you could do that. Also endeavour to call that person maybe he could render the much needed help. May Allah see you through Ameen
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Anonymous Feb 7, 07:36 PM
Thanks you everyone for your recommendation, I just don't know if it possible for me to become normal again. I am sad and feel i don't have any purpose. My parents are bothered about me but i can't tell them its shameful. I have tried to be good and give several sadaqah because of this. no difference at all. i wake up everyday and sleep as a looser that does not pray and have lost focus or motivation for anything. so what's my use? I have lost all my self esteem and confidence. i just feel like my life is better ended than to continue. i dont want to do suicide i just pray for my end very soon if Allah wills.
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Anonymous Feb 7, 07:46 PM
Thank you for your concern. 2 days ago i destroyed my phone and sim hoping I would take my life on that day, but i didn't so my parents gave me a new phone but it don't have a sim yet, because what is the use of having a sim when i want to leave this earth i dont want to contact or be contacted. i use my sister's hotspot to access the internet on my pc. my parents have been bothered and even took me to a local malam. they don't know why i am behaving odd and abnormal for a while but i feel ashamed to open up to them. I feel very horrible since last year, i am just tired and sick. i regret waking up everyday and doing this thing. even without porn i masturbate everyday and my private part does not work anymore because of excessive abuse. if i don't do it. i can't eat food or think straight. i will wake up midnight and can't sleep unless i do it. then i will feel normal. Perhaps we can communicate via email but i don't want to bother you or suffer anyone. I hope Allah forgives me, I have destroyed my life already. i want to go. Thank you.
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Pharm Y Feb 7, 08:08 PM
Ok the fact that you see it as a problem is blessing enough. So many people do things nowadays without even batting an eye. This is Allah’s way of showing you He loves you and that your problem can be remedied. Please try and contact the individual who has gone through this and is willing to help you. Maybe this is Allah’s way of getting you out of this. Please do not despair. May Allah make it easy on you and everyone who is going through something.
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Anonymous_#3 Feb 7, 09:08 PM
Dear Poster, suicide can never an option, it never has been and will never be. Have you asked yourself what will happen after you've committed suicide, what will you tell Allah? That you couldnt get rid of an addiction and you decided to take your life. Remember that in as much as your living in this dunya this life is not yours to take. It's hard, I know, its frustrating, its everything, you feel like strangling yourself to death, but that is not the right thing to do, that is not an option. It's hard I know but I want to help please, I want us to be friends okay, please. My number is: 09059174262, if that one isnt reachable try this one: 08148303329. Try to reach out to me please and take care of yourself.
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Anonymous Feb 7, 09:20 PM
I don't want to suffer that person or bother him when i know deeply i just don't want to live anymore. I have had dreams that i have died and i regret waking up. who will even marry me for this thing that i have become. I made this post just to warn others before i go that Porn = destruction and it can ruin your entire life like it did to me and it has left me helpless now it will move to another victim. I appreciate your concern and i hope you have a wonderful life.
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Anonymous_#1 Feb 7, 09:37 PM
As salaam alaikum! Dear poster we have the same problem in common, if not for the fact that I haven't told anyone how messed up my life is, I would've say someone is sharing my story to the world. Wallahil Azeem I also tried several times to resist the urge and control myself, but I always find it difficult I just have to masturbate. I masturbate alot too and it has started affecting my sight, I never thought of commiting suicide though, but this thing that I'm into has been scaring the hell out of me, I'm not the kind of person I used to be anymore, I easily forget things (low memory index) which is unlike me, i can't focus. I've always wanted to talk to someone, but I'm scared, the way some will look at you, the critics and so on. Then I came across this post on Instagram which gives me the courage to share my own piece too. So you're not alone in this, please suicide is not the option here, we'll scale through Inshaa Allah. Even though I don't know how, but I'm scared more than you can possibly imagine.
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Shimhary Feb 7, 09:47 PM
Then please contact me via my email like you want. shimhary@gmail.com Your life is not over, it is just getting started. Just send me a message and in shaa Allah, we will scale through together. You are not alone. Please.
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Anonymous_#4 Feb 7, 11:47 PM
Dear poster, suicide is never a solution to this, always seek for forgiveness and repent, remember everyone sins and the best among are those who repent, try as much as you can to stop watching it, always ask for Allah's forgiveness because you can't quit without asking for forgiveness, have taqwa of Allah wherever you may be, following a bad deed with a good one is a way of purifying because taking up more good deeds as you try to break free from porn addiction has another benefit it will turn your heart from unlawful to something lawful and rewarding, seek more Islamic knowledge, and most of all always memorize the Quran, get married and make dhikr alot because a heart attached to Allah finds it difficult to engage in sinful acts... I know it's hard but please never give up keep trying InshaAllah everything will be alright and please I really want to help this is my number +2349030776979 plss
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Shimhary Feb 8, 09:12 AM
Hey poster. I'm also extending my helping hands to you. It's the only way I can think of, can you also contact me? 07011523836 or shimhary@gmail.com Please endeavor to do so and in shaa Allah, you will overcome this.
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Pharm Y Feb 8, 11:45 AM
Salam. Thank you fir your response. Again I will stress you don’t give up. The brother is willing to help you what have you got to lose? Please just give him it a try. Do you mind talking to me? I’m female but I’m also a pharmacist maybe I can help you get the help you need by medical intervention. By applying both methods maybe we can remedy your problem. Can you contact me via email yaganaw@yahoo.com ?
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Pharm Y Feb 9, 03:32 PM
Check out this link https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U-aGyMl5cgc&t. It should help with your issue
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RukayyaA2 Feb 10, 10:31 AM
Dear poster wish I can help in any way. But I believe as a Muslim you definitely knw that suicide will never be an option no matter what you are going through... Stick to istigfar, Innalillahi wa Inna ilaihi raji'un( wallahi it power is beyond ones imagination), Reading Qur'an frequently, fasting Mondays and Thursdays...always remember that WALLAHU YUHIBBUT TAUWABIN... You can reach out to me at grukayya@gmail.com I have lots of words of encouragement for you.. Always remember this SUICIDE IS NEVER AN OPTION
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Anonymous_#2 Feb 11, 04:47 PM
Please I would like the website admin to help me with some information if possible, I want to confirm something. Someone i know died suddenly yesterday kuma ance wai suicide ne (not sure) and i know he studied abroad.
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