what's the worst that can happen if i don't get married as a female?
Anonymous Jun 25, 05:14 PM

what's the worst that can happen if i don't get married as a female? 1

I am a female in my mid twenties, pursuing my career and an entrepreneur. i actually want to achieve alot but the issue is most of the men that are interested in me, will want to put limits to what i can achieve. i want to have self freedom and pursue my career as an independent woman. lately i'm thinking i may not get married because i would rather choose my ambition. so what are the disadvantages of living such a life as a lady, please i want your opinions. Thanks


Anonymous #1 Jun 25, 08:47 PM
Getting married is not compulsory but it is a very strong sunna of the prophet SAW that he recommended to every able and capable being. In spite of that, living independently in a society like ours is a bad idea most especially for a woman of marriageable age, our society views independent women as prostitutes or something of that kind and you can never escape from such assumptions no matter how even if you have a reliable source of income people will still assume bad impression towards your way of life. My advice is marry someone who will support your dreams but don't raise your standard too much because most atimes men don't like women that have too much standard, nevertheless age is not on your side to have high standards before you marry. On a final note don't become a feminist such beliefs are against Islamic teachings.
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Abdurrahman Jun 25, 10:23 PM
Getting married is not compulsory, and also to pursue your dream is a good thing, where the issue is to get someone that will help you in fulfilling that dream. to be sincere most Men dont want to see their spouses perform better than they are. In Islam it is advisable for a lady to have a guardian and that can be her husband. for me try and get married but not under pressure and find someone who can help you actualize that dream
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Anonymous #2 Jun 29, 02:26 PM
Well, like others have said.. marriage is not compulsory but then it is a very good sunnah. Moreover u can achieve all that u wanna achieve but may regret not getting married later in life. When u become old and have nobody by ur side.. u will have no family, no children and then depression can set in. As a doctor, I've seen how unmarried women are down and depressed when they cannot find anybody to take care of them because they have no children or husband. There are men that like ambitious women and I'm one of such people provided that what the woman is chasing is Halal. So there is definitely someone for you.
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hatty Oct 21, 02:12 PM
Salam Alaykum Sister. As muslims, we are not obligated to get married. The purpose of marriage in islam is to improve you life, give you a family and protection so, marriage is entirely voluntary in Islam. there is no islamic implication to not getting married and you can live a happy and successful life without it. As hausa girls/women, we are expectected (sometimes pressured/forced) to get married and "settle down". To go against the expectations of society, one has to be tough and have resolve and confidence in his choice. To live as a single woman is to endure the shaming, side talks, backbiting and maybe even serious disagreements with our parents and family as most people in our society cannot grasp a woman being successful without being married. By their defination, getting married is success and all other things that are termed as success are actually minor successes. they are not of the same rank of the success in beig "married". If you are willing to endure and be an example for young arewa girls to know that there is life and success without marriage, then go ahead and may Allah ease your way. On the topic of the men being men by dampening your goals and vision, well about 95% of the men you will encounter will be like that. Men see their women as their property and not as independant beings with their own will and desires/goals. they will hate to see you progress and prosper just like them. they prefer to have women wholly dependant on them that way, they can control you and misbehave as they want as you cannot hold them accountable for their actions. There are still men that will allow you the freedom to achieve your goal but you have to know how to identify them and those that don not fit your vision will have to find other women to be their wives as there is a lid for every pot. so do not fret. however, do not slacken your standards and insha Allah you will find one that will rise to the occasion. if you let go of your standard for freedom in the marriage, you will regret it terribly. so i hope you remain determined in what you want. if you are interested in being married, I will advise you if you want to continue with getting to know prospective suitors to see of they can fit into your life. you don't have to sacrifice your dream for marriage or viceversa. You simply learn to quickly assess the person if he is right for you or not. I hope i answered your question Bissalam
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Anonymous #3 May 8, 10:46 PM
My dear getting married is Sunnah, and in sha Allah there's no worst that can happen if you keep yourself chaste, just pray to Allah to grant you a spouse that has fear of Allah and would accept and join hands to support you if your ambition is halal
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